The Bachelor- 15

Man I always seem to succomb to peer pressure...I worked overtime tonight and am exhausted but I don't want to disappoint Patti so I'm up and watching the Bachelor!! I am a people pleaser.

Ok this hospital visit had better mean a good injury- none of that stupid Bevan ankle injury crap where she wore HEELS yet showed up THREE months later in a cast...freak

What the hell kind of name is McCarten- does that mean I can name my child McGill? Wow he suddenly became more attractive to me when he gave out gifts of cash...hehe. Actually I'll be honest- I HATE guys who have finely groomed facial hair- I mean I hate facial hair all around. But when it is all groomed it shows he spends way too much time on it- just shave it off!

I was just about to insult the realtor for having such bad highlights then she goes and gets injured. Now I can't point out how awful and eighties her streaks are.

Side note- I am just flipping channels during the commercial and found MONARCHY with David Starkey- the man who established my love of all things British and Royal...which ties into my excitement for tomorrow night and THE TUDORS!! The combo of Jonathan Rhys Meyers- my future husband- and Tudor England makes me almost pass out with excitement. Ok screw the Bachelor- I want to watch this- it's the first one ever about Anglo Saxon England and Ethelred and the Normand conquest (hehe)....I guess I've already seen this about 3 times so should watch the Bachelor...

Ok back to the smut...Monarchy is on TVO for all of you out there. K now I'm really back. I love that the girls are all smiling and giggling when they find out she fell...and they are more so jealous that she has his phone number. Wow McCarten is aggressive- grabs him to kiss him as he's talking...very odd...I love that he said it wasn't good!! Seriously DeAnna- you didn't know that he was going for the rose?! Even Baxter knew that- and he's on the other side of the room sleeping on my suitcase.

I love that big brown pillow on the couch- fabulous!! I love how they act surprised that he shows up- when they are waiting for him to go on a date. Polaroid beach house- I've seen slutty pics of Blohan there. I would think it's odd for him to have 7 girls trying to take his shirt off then cheering when he does. That was a nasty toast- I would not say that in national television when my parents could be watching.

Oh and the girl with the massive implants wants him to do a body shot off her- to truly know what silicone feels like. She showed me everything that she is- literally. Oh god here comes the Christian girl- that was the oddest declaration- she was so vague it was weird. What the hell is wrong with Solina?!? She is going to streak?!

Why on earth did Jenny just kiss his hand? I despise cutesy people. Well- obviously he doesn't. What the hell is up with her heart shaped crystal earrings?! Oh my god I can't believe they are going through Jenny's luggage!! Sarah close your mouth- it is a scaring me. I can't believe this girl just ripped her top off...lovely.

Oh look- Michelle's accident is giving her time with him. Oh god- don't start talking about kids right away when you have time with him! She is ridiculously manly. God the fabrics in these houses are amazing- I'm loving all the drapes and pillows!! Holy Tranny Batman!! Mallory looks like Alexis Arquette- she is a man. Jade's a cow. Maybe Brad is like Patrick Darling from Dirty Sexy Money and likes the trannies...

McCarten?! Really- he picked her after that horrible kiss?! Look at Jade's face when Jennie got the rose- what a cow. He seems to like the blondes. He picked the whore?!!? Seriously?!!? Well we know he doesn't like trannies- but he likes the sluts. Interesting...oh and here comes the crazy. Crying about a guy that you didn't even go on a date with!!