Sunday, September 30, 2007

Dirty Sexy Money

What a fabulous title- I am so excited to watch this!!

Oh god that looks like another Fanning- must be Dakota's sister. I hope they don't show her often. I love that their names are the Darling's- fantastic! I love Donald Sutherland- there is just something about him that I love.

You can't act- well you're poor- haha!! The priest rocks so far. Matt from 90210! This is going to rock!

Nick deflowered me- HAHA!! I love spoiled idiots!! He threatens the headmaster with slashing his tires then he's leaving to do a baptism- and he has a son!! I love Catholic priests!!

Why is Peter Bogdanovich everywhere suddenly!! He wrote his name in crayon! Jeremy is hot- I love the messed up rich guys!! Someday you'll be a human being- haha!!

Oh I'm guessing the wife had an affair with his father. HAHAHA!! Billy Baldwin is with a tranny!!! That is amazing! OMG that just made the show!!

I knew they were having an affair- 40 years?!?! Then why did Tripp keep him as the attorney?! I bet it was Donald Sutherland that paid to kill the dad- and he feels bad so is helping the son.

Hey Paula

I am sooo excited for this show- I've been hearing about it for months and I had heard that it's a complete train wreck. I mean who the hell does Paula think she's kidding- her denying that she has substance abuse problems is like me denying that I'm white. Quit lying about the obvious!

My god look at her stumbling around at her event- she can hardly stand. And she's spraying all around- there is a reason that the camera crew wasn't in the dressing room and she needed time alone. She can't even talk during her interviews and she just molested the interviewer. This is just a trainwreck. And I like that her PR guy is trying to say it's because she's nervous.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Suck It Paris

I just thought I would post this link to youtube for everyone to see Paris Hilton on Letterman yesterday- where basically he just made fun of her about jail. Fantastic!! I love seeing him make her squirm!! I've always loved Dave and this reinforces that!!

There is a disturbing piece of information that she gives. I knew she was in Toronto filming a musical. Yuck. But she begins to list her costars and one of them is GILES! GILES!! I can't believe that Anthony Head agreed to be in a movie with that retard- granted he's a fantastic singer and I think he needs to get more parts- but he deserves better than this. That said- I totally need to stalk Ripper while he's in town!!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Eat Something!!

Here is Kim Basinger in Germany looking like crap! Crap people!! It is one thing being a skinny bitch in your 20s- it's a completely different thing when you are in your fifties. Your skin loses elasticity, it gets thin- and it results in this look....nasty!! EAT SOMETHING!!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Grey's Anatomy

First off- why am I about to watch this?! Why can't I stay away?!? Hopefully it proves me wrong and goes back to the genius of seasons 1 and 2 and Abby Morgan on the pole.

Someone get Alex a razor stat!!! That is unacceptable!! Like they would give George to Meredith- that is ridiculous.

People- I see the shark jumping...they are going to save the deer?!? Seriously? if you are just taking the deer home to eat why don't you slit it's throat to put it out of it's misery?! Retarded

Oh a bit of Lily Allen- excellent!! Linz- I'm thinking of you during this song!

Why are they being so horrible to Callie?! I hate them all. I'm not even fully watching- I keep turning to ER to see what's happening with Neela.

I am not charmed by the child. What would make it interesting is if the kids hugged him and it killed him. Oh it's not happening.

All alone in the forest- this is the dumbest monologue ever. Where are you- he's with his wife bitch. Step back.

The 10 year old didn't know he was eating meat- sir- you have an idiot son. This whole Izzy storyline is embarassing. And now the dear is fine...who cares about the blood loss. Retarded

Wow after a year they are finally using McSteamy and developing the character. Interesting.

Well this helps my Thursday night dilemna- this will officially become my during commercials show.

What the hell- why is George at Izzy's??!!?? WHAT!?!?!?! WHAT??!?!? This is how they ended it/!? He is MARRIED!! Retarded

The Office

Genius. This show is freakin genius. Dwight killed his girlfriends cat. Kelly doesn't know if Buddha is involved in Hinduism. Michael ran over Meredith- who turns out has rabies. Creed was in various cults. And of course- Jim and Pam!! Jim and Pam!! I LOVED THEIR KISS! I heart them. This show kills me!


So I'm watching this during Earl commercial breaks so I probably will only have a few comments.

First Jean Robert is a complete tool...he is helping with his mind- what an idiot! I don't care if he's a professional poker player- not impressive.

That Ashley girl is scary and nasty- why do people think that lip rings are attractive- they are completely disgusting.

My Name is Earl

This show is genius...the Dolly Parton poster hiding the escape route- classic!!

Then the best- when Crabman gave him 3 books that helped him find god- The Bible, The Torah, and Are you there god it's me Margaret- HAHAHA!! I can't breath- soooo good! I loved that book- I still do the chest exercises sometimes.

Albinos- we need the shady part of the yard. I love the white supremacists too- to funny!!

I want Randy's life- my favorite thing is to get people to tell me stories til I fall asleep.


Would you want to consummate a relationship with this?! It is being reported that Michael Jackson got married earlier this year to his nanny Grace Rwaramba...nasty. i can think of only 1 reason why he married her- to shut her up!! She probably witnessed some crazy ass things and he married her and is paying her off to make sure she stays quiet. Either that or she's a genuinely nice person who is staying to protect the children!! If he's not a molester then I am not a white female...


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Private Practice

Ok I'm going to make give this show another chance...although I remember it being horrible the first time around...

Yes, yes she will be back in less than a month- bring her back to Grey's!!

Oh god this feels too much like Ally McBeal for my liking- why is she dancing naked?!/

Oh Tim Daly you sexy beast- you are fabulous. FA.BU.LOUS.

Oh yuck- she went from a true gynecologist to a stupid trendy birthing suite- come on Addison- be the strong smart doctor!!

Who would admit their weird sex fetishes to a stranger?!?! This is too stupid.

Moon Unit!! Moon Unit!! This show might be getting better! If she starts singing Valley Girl it'll make this show worthwhile!

Oh god she is working with a holistic person now- goddammit she is supposed to be a surgeon- a specialist!! What the hell is she doing?!?

I thought Piz was lame on Veronica- this whole midwifery thing is making him the lamest of them all. Good lord- like Addison the surgeon would have missed that stuff. This is ridiculous. Like Addison doesn't know how to deal with this- SHE IS A SURGEON!! THIS is why you don't give birth in a stupid clinic and why you go to a hospital- giving birth is DANGEROUS people- ok I have to calm down- this topic gets me worked up.

Ok this is just bothering me- why is she going so slow- I like my doctors to be a bit more on the ball and moving quicker than this! I can't believe she agreed to work in a clinic where she won't be performing surgeries..especially since she's a surgeon!!

I hope this fails and she goes back to Grey's and all is right with the world

America's Next Top Model

Please please please let this be the makeover show- that's always my favorite one!

I love that Jay Manual's shirt is so tight that I can see his nipples- hehe! Oh I love the floors- I love the look of polished concrete! God lord why is there so much Jaslene in this house?! Yuck

Yay no smoking campaign- you go America's Next Top Model!! Oh Tyra you are such a role model!

Mila is not pretty- her face is too round and I hate the perkiness....I am starting not to like this photo shoot- they are laughing and making fun of how cancer patients look...I'm not a fan of that...

Oh yay I just changed the channel to Dancing with the Stars and Dolly Parton was on!! I LOVE her!! I think she is completely fabulous- she just doesn't give a rats ass and I love that! I still REALLY want to go to Dollywood- who's in?!

Back to ANTM- wow I can't believe how much Bianca and Lisa are fighting- at the first photo shoot!! Wow Miss J actually has normal hair!!

Oh I love that they are at the Nave- I'e been meaning to go there to stock up- now they will give me ideas!!

Wow- Kimberly is an idiot...I love how she thinks people will cling to her. I love that Tyra called her a hoochy! Salecia does have the best outfit- I want that dress!!

I just flipped to Dancing with the Stars- Marie Osmond is freaking me out- she is way more frozen than Nicole Kidman!

Back to ANTM- Ok I'm usually good at predicting who goes home- but it's hard in the first episode. No smoking cycle- you go Tyra!! I think it'll be Ebony

Next week had better be the makeover show!! Janet looks old- she has way too many lines for someone her age.

Oh I'm glad Mila is in the bottom too- she is damn annoying. I LOVE Ebony's necklace- I need it! I agree completely- Ebony does have more potential!!

Dancing with the Stars- of course Josie was kicked off- they even panned to her yesterday when they said who would be kicked off. Not surprising.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Dancing with the Stars

Ok now for the boys

Cameron Matheson- you are pretty. I like you because you are pretty. The dance was ok- a bit boring.

Floyd- never heard of him. He was too tense in his shoulders. And I love that she kept having to pull up her dress.

Helio- again, I've never heard of you. He seems nice and enthusiastic..and he's not bad..but not great...He is better than that freakin Apolo- I hated him!!
I care nothing for dancing skills- I never want to see a freakin mandana again!!

Side note- is it just me or does Wayne Newton not look exactly like a ventriloquist doll at this point?! Time to stop with the plastic surgery Wayne!!

Albert- while I like the Zoolander reference I still don't know who you are. His partner though- is it just me or is she Isla Fisher without the pregnant belly and with a Russian accent?! She looks just like her! He is younger than the Cheetah Girl?! Sheila he has the same dance moves as you- he broke out the lawnmower! He is the least famous- luckily he's cute- and has a fantastic boy...I have to admit once I saw the shimmy I was boy in black..and I know he's young- and we all know I like them young!! I think they're cute! I like them! He'd better watch out though- I just saw Jane Seymour's eyes and she wants him to call her Kitty Cat...

Side note- I am having a very hard time just picking one show to watch and knowing that my TIVO isn't taping the other...what the hell was I thinking- how am I going to last the year without it!?!?!!?

I have heard of Mark Cuban- although I really have no feelings either way towards him. He's ok- I mean he won't last long...but he's ok.

Go Wayne Newton!! You can do it!! Come on people- how can you not want to go see Wayne Newton in Vegas?!!? Look at him- He's a ventriloquist doll come to life!! He's got quite the big heaving barrel chest on him!! Go Wayne!!

Bachelor Breakup

Charlie OConnell and Sarah Brice have confirmed that they broke up. Sarah released a statement to In Touch (I love that that's the best magazine that she could find):

I definitely thought I’d spend the rest of my life with him — I think we both did — but there were some things between us that we couldn’t resolve.”

Well if anyone is still counting that leaves 2 couples that are still together: Byron and Mary- who are in a ditch somewhere because no one seems to care, and Trista and Ryan- who I wish were in a ditch somewhere.

Oh yeah- Andy and Tessa haven't officially announced their breakup but we all know they're over- she probably realized she was a beard!!


I can't believe that Kiefer Sutherland was arrested for a DUI last night...isn't he too old for this shit?!!? And doesn't he make enough money on 24 to hire a driver?! I have loved him for years and years, and have even forgiven him for that whole Julia Roberts thing. But this...this is going to be hard to forgive...

Monday, September 24, 2007

The Bachelor

Alright Patti- I'm staying awake just to watch this! Side note- did you see Trista and Ryan's baby pics on US weekly- oh there he is...healthy?! Why does he have oxygen?!

This guy is not attractive to me- too bulky and I don't enjoy facial hair. But then again I loved the look of Andy- and look what a disappointment he ended up being right away.

His boobs shake when he is running...haha!

Mallory your dress is fantastic- I love a nice white dress that doesn't look like a wedding gown. I hate people who call themselves dorks or silly. Annoying.

Is anyone other than Chris Harrison calling him the sexiest bachelor ever?! I really think he likes him!

He loves the tall girl! Well he seems like a nice guy. You were a fire extenguisher?! Horrible line!! Miss Brown Sugar?! Seriously?! You introduce yourself with a porn name? Oh god the greek one- feel my chest, feel my chest...Juli looks like a 12 year old! And where the hell is the e at the end of her name!? Nice butt wiggle girl in silver dress- dumbass

I can take your vital signs?! Where do they come up with this crap?! The journalist has HORRIBLE highlights!! And the tan ages her by 10 years...

Michele- it's your own fault for telling the other girl to dance! Oh god is she going to sing...oh god- she's tone deaf...what the hell was she thinking?! Tauni, all she is doing is sticking out her ass in a drunken way- even I have that talent.
Oh god- I can't believe someone is doing the human pretzel...and it was obviously planned since she had pants on. Drunken Melissa is hysterical- these girls are idiots. Why would you get drunk!? Oh god- she broke out the webbed toes to try to get the first impression rose- oh god!! So nasty!! My god is he going in the pool too?! She gets the rose for getting in a bikini!? Oh thank god- I'm glad it wasn't the swimming girl. I actually like Jenny- she seems nice and happy. I love when the others call it their rose- crackpots.

Beautiful voice?!? Ok this guy's an idiot. Put the tongues away- nasty.

That is what happens when you show your webbed toes- you don't get a rose!! And when your only talent is wiggling your ass- off with you. It's daylight when they left? Good lord- I'd be passing out. I do not handle all nighters well. I can't believe that girl is crying- idiot! You don't know him! The drunk "sweet" girl didn't get it either- haha! Oh and the tall one that I thought he liked at the beginning was sent home. He even gave one to bikini girl!

Prediction- Jenni- he likes her.

Dancing with the Stars

Go Kelly Taylor!! Go Kelly Go!!

Who the hell are these people??!! I haven't heard of half of these people- and I pride myself on my knowledge of minor celebrities and obscure facts!!

Go Wayne Newton!!

Wow Drew Lachey is wearing more makeup and orange foundation than I did in West Side Story!!

Side note- I'm sick but drinking caffeine to stay up to watch the Bachelor- I'm very dedicated!

Go Jennie!! Cheetah Girls??!??! What the hell is that??!!? Oh it's a spice!! Dr. Quinn...never heard of the boxer...never heard of the driver....male model?!!? never heard of you....Go Wayne Newton! Seriously- I want to go see Wayne Newton in Vegas when we go- he's a legend!!

Oh god I missed Edyta's clothes- they kill me every time- that girl would rather be a stripper I think - she is never clothed!! Cheryl- I'm liking the longer hair

GO KELLY!! I am so glad that it is her and not Tori Spelling! I think she was good! I missed the comments because I was complaining to my mom (I'm a very whinny sick girl)

Ok Josie Maran- I do know her. I remember her as a model- plus she used to date David Blaine- yuck. Bad footwork- I agree

Still don't know who this Cheetah Girl is- definitely doesn't hae the body of a dancer...haven't you watched previous seasons?!!? It's supposed to be textbook!! Hun, tummy cutout is not a good look...

Next side note- I am NOT allowing myself to be sick during premiere week- it is too important! The saying is feed a cold right? Bring on the gelato!!

Marie Osmond- yuck. I love that she has the long bangs- to hide the plastic surgery marks!! Haha- i Love that they are staging a musical session- like she's still a relevant recording artist. Boring...slow..bad

Mel B- first off- book a Toronto date already!! I want my tickets! Oh please let Victoria show up in the audience!! I just rewatched her coming to America special at Linz's last weekend- genius people! It truly is timeless!! I hope that Mel B starts looking like a girl again soon- she has been quite tranny since Eddie Murphy...he really has that effect on people... she's good- it's all the years of being inspired by Posh's genius and talent...Wow her partner is clothed...and looking hot I have to say! I much prefer this to the exposed chest hair- I've always loved me a man in a black turtleneck!

Dr Quinn. Boring. I don't really care enough to comment- I mean all she can do to please me is have Chad Allen in the audience cheering her on.

Go Jennie!! I think that Josie will be the first girl to go- I mean she doesn't have the "fanbase" of the others.

You Know That You are Old When...

Jennifer Keaton is 34 and just had baby #4!! 4!! I was JUST watching Family Ties on the Christian Channel (thanks for the tip Kaarina) and I still think of her as a 9 year old blond- not a 34 year old with black hair!!

Blue Rodeo at Work

So today Blue Rodeo came to PMH to give a surprise concert for patients and staff...and also to promote their new album. I am not the biggest Blue Rodeo fan but it was pretty cool- I was on the floor above them looking straight down on them...and while I wasn't all gaga over Jim Cuddy like my coworkers (seriously) I was impressed that they were completely accoustic. Best line of the day though comes from Lisa Kenny- who said I should send them down to NCIC CTG to perform in the atrium...but then they would probably get a noise violation!

Friday, September 21, 2007

Together Again!!

Someone listened to my advice- Stephen and LC were out in LA the other night! Thank god- such a better choice than that troll Hayden!!

They Knocked Up Charlotte!!

Here's a pic from the new Sex in the City movie that is being filmed- I guess not only is she adopting the baby girl from China, she will also have her own...predictable...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

America's Next Top Model

YAY!! It's back!! I love this show!!

Sheila- it's the cruise that your friend was on!!

Marvita frightens me...her name is Spontaniouse?!?! Seriously!!?!?!

Wow heather that is a HORRIBLE walk!!

Oh god- who is letting Tyra sing again?!?! I thought we had put an end to that!

What the hell is up with the mini skirt and bottom of the jeans?!?! That is super odd...

That Heather girl is super weird...she is not pretty- and wayyyy too hunched

Victoria is too socially awkward for this...back to Yale with you....oh and look at her with her lovely case of anorexia!!

I love Miss J's face when Tyra's ass was in his face!!

Mila needs to be beaten- celebrate this beating biatch...oh god that is the worst fit bikini that I have ever seen!!

Why on earth did that girl pull something out of her nose?!?!? YUCK!! What an idiot!

Well it looks like Jaslene has still not started eating!!

I love that the girl who was excited for the cut ended up getting cut!!

I can't believe they are going to pick the girl with Asbergers- only because she is NOT pretty- she has HUGE shadows under her eyes and reminds me of Brooke from a few seasons ago

Well yet again there are quite a few uglies in the group- I'm just waiting to see the makeovers

Hayden's a Twat

To any of you who like her...listen to what she did on the red carpet as per Michael Ausiello:

Anyway, it was the unbreakable Hayden Panettiere who threatened to "kill" a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. (Sources have since confirmed that it was this item that had HP's barely legal panties in a bunch.) Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter's skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, "Not on the red carpet." It was a classic Hollywood moment — and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week's end.

She was mad about that article- bitch please. Get over it!

BritBrit needs Drug Testing

So contrary to all the rumours Britney did not lose custody of her children yesterday- she was however put on a tight leash. She will have to undergo random drug testing two days a week- and her and KFed have to take parenting classes and therapy together. That all sounds quite reasonable to me...but I guess not to her- she went clubbing last night. Idiot

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Big Brother 8

Hi Janelle!! I see you in the audience!!

I love the Donatos- I think they're fantastic. I'm pretty sure that Danielle will win...there won't be much suspense. Also- I don't think that the America's player reveal will be that big of a deal. The only thing that I would love is if they told Amber how much she is hated...and that she won't in fact win America's Next Top Model.

I wonder if Danielle's boyfriend will actually show up to the finally?!

I actually think Dick deserves the money- I mean he was sooo hated and yet made it to the end.

Wow Julie is wearing quite the shimmery powder- her face is just glimmering!!

These people are all such idiots- they would have voted for Zach over the Donatos?!?! Can they not acknowledge that they were better players?! And how were they not honest- they didn't lie til the end. SHUT UP JEN!! You are such a lowlife- what the hell did Daniele do to you?!

Oh Amber- what does it matter what she did to her boyfriend?!! Exactly- it is no ones business- why does it matter. You go Daniele! Tell that idiot!! I love that Dick is still honest and not sucking up to people. He's right- those people don't deserve to be there. Zach's grin still creeps me out. God this jury is just all full of bitter queens.

Oh god Dustin do up your shirt!! I love that people booed Jen. Man they are all wearing the body shimmer!!

Jen you are the c word- I very rarely feel that I need to use that word but I can't stand that idiot!! Jessica is an idiot- I can't believe that fans liked her!!

Oh god who let Howie in the building?!?!

Oh I love Joe's hair- it's so Goldilocks!! So cute!!

Gd Eric is fidgeting bigtime right now with the reveal...Eric looks like he's going to puke during the reveal

I actually think Dick might get this...Dustin voted for Dick- interesting...Dick won!?!! I can't believe it- I thought Daniele had this in the bag!!

Gossip Girl

So I'm watching this new show- and the main reason I'm blogging is to proclaim my love of Kristen Bell- hearing her voice overs on another show with no Logan or Veronica is a bit odd...but I love her voice!!

That bedroom looks like the one from Cruel Intentions...I have got to see that again!!

Side note- I have cable!! And my picture is clear and beautiful- it has been neither since I got here!!

Back to the show! I just realized where I know Blair- she was the girl who had Samantha plan her Bar Mitzvah on Sex and the City

My god that is the absolute perfect red lipstick- it always bleeds on me...I wish I could do that!!

First episode and we get a sex scene- on a bar no less...sweet!

Is it just me or does every single guy on this show look alike?!?! They are all brunette and have huge lips and cutting cheekbones

Oh look the parents know each other...they must have had an affair...they are going to hook our the kids!!

You'll never be as beautiful and thin- true that...oh high many wasted years feeling bad about myself when I was sooo skinny...

Wow the music on this show is very new- I didn't think this Timbaland song was very old

Oh god- is the 14 year old getting raped by the creepy guy with the scarf?!!? Side note- what rich guy is named Chuck?!

Actually- what is it with the guys on this show and their long scarves/!? Are they trying to start a trend?!

How the hell did she have time to text in the middle of being molested?!? I don't get it?! Oh he's going to go through the skylight!! Oh never mind- that would have made it nice and dramatic

Well it's a teen drama with lots of sex- yes, yes I think I will watch this show!!

Heidi You're A Tool

Heidi gave an interview to Cosmogirl and completely bashed LC:

"They don't show the footage of how Lauren was sort of obsessed with [fiancé Spencer Pratt] or how she called my mom... and told her I was involved in an abusive relationship or how she would scream at me in the middle of the club if I wanted to leave."

Don't get me wrong- I know the show is scripted. But Spencer is a douche- and you are a tool. End of story

BritBrit- this is officially Rock Bottom

There has been SOO much posted about Britney these past two days that I have to post. First, her lawyer dumped her- in the MIDDLE of the custody case!! Then her management dumped her. She has been banned from the Chateau Marmont for disgraceful behaviour- and they never say no to a famous person! She has no parents, no representation, noone. And now it looks like it's almost guaranteed that she is losing her children. She has had 50/50 custody with KFed- they say that it will be announced anytime that she is losing temporary custody of her children. And she is probably to stupid to realize it's her own fault. The girl takes no responsibility for anything. Seriously- I hope there are people around her right now- even assistants- because girls going to go nuts!! More so than usual...people are calling for a suicide watch- and I think it may be true...

Great Success!

I am getting cable tonight- just in time for BB8!! Thank god- I literally was going insane- I couldn't handle it!!

Keira- Go to Hell

I can't stand Keira Knightly- I liked her back in the Bend it Like Beckham days but since then she has done nothing but annoy me. The pout drives me crazy- and she was a horrible Lizzie Bennett. Then she tries so hard to shoot down claims that she has an eating disorder- bitch please. We've all seen the bulimic jaw and razor sharp scapula bones. Now she goes and says make us feel sorry for her since she is so big:

"Weight is a big issue in Hollywood because I'm twice the size, height and everything else, of most of the girls who are going in to see the director for a part. When you realize that I am, at my size, one of the largest actresses there, you start to think, 'I don't think it'd be healthy for me to stay here much longer.'"

Linz- I think I have a passenger for your boat.


ScarJo and Ryan Reynolds

Ok this couple is hot- no doubt about it! They both dumped their significantly unworthy partners and found each other. I mean come on- Alanis? Or Josh Hartnett- ye of the unibrow?! One of my friends years ago told me that people of equal levels of attractiveness should be together- and these two are both ridiculously attractive. Well done!

Famous KLers

This is for all the KL kids- please look up Kirkland Lake on Wikipedia and see who the "famous Klers" are...I literally think I almost peed my pants when I read them!!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Go Manilow!!

While I still think that he is ridiculously scary looking I have now jumped on the Barry Manilow bandwagon! He pulled out of his View appearance tomorrow because of that retard Elisabeth. He released this statement:

"I strongly disagree with her views. I think she's dangerous and offensive. I will not be on the same stage as her."

Same reason why I stopped watching- even though I think Sherri Shephard is funny I will have nothing to do with that show while that crackhead is on it

Jess you should have better taste than this troll

I just read on Perez that Milo Ventimiglia may be dating Hayden Panettiere- yuck!! Hopefully he's just helping divert attention from her affair with her tv dad and isn't really hitting this!!

Sexiest Little Man

The gay midget dwarf lives!! Tom Cruise was just voted "Sexiest Little Man" in Britain- HAHAHA!! That is hysterical!! Here is the rest of the list (I've only heard of 2 of them!)

1. Tom Cruise
2. Richard Hammond
3. Mark Owen
4. Lewis Hamilton
5. Jamie Cullum
6. James McAvoy
7. Michael Owen
8. Kelly Jones
9. Declan Donnelly
10. Robert Carlyle


Ellen Was There!

I had thought that Ellen Pompeo snubbed the Emmy's- turned out it was the other way around! Ellen showed up looking like this- which probably inspired the producers to never pan to her! This girl is so nasty- what the hell is she thinking!?!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Emmy Red Carpet

Ok this is complicated and annoying- I have to watch the red carpet on my comp since I don't have cable (ACH) so I'm going back and forth right now.

First comment- Hayden Panettiere you're an idiot! Trying to pass off your orange complexion as your natural glow since you're italian- mmm....I don't know anyone who is naturally orange!!

Next- Kate Walsh what the hell did you do to your hair/?!?! And the eye makeup makes you look stoned!

Eva Longoria is overrated- plain who needs a lot of makeup

The ceremony is in the round!?!? That's ridiculous- what a stupid stunt move. I also heard there will be singing- why?! It's about tv!!

What the hell is up with Jaime Pressley's hair/!?!? It looks like what Barbara Walters would do!! And the dress- I wouldn't believe that she had a good body in that mumu!!

Oh god Rebecca Romijn fire your makeup artist! you look HORRIBLE!! THe nude lip does NOT look good on you!!

Debra Messing is copying my hair from last night!! Same cut, same colour!

Portia de Rossi you know how to dress- LOVE the dress!!

What the hell is Al Gore doing there?!?! I mean I support him- but what the hell is interactive tv?!

Ok just some random thoughts about the emmy's- I didn't live blog because Kaarina was here.

I LOVED when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert got up to present Best Actor and then decided to give it to Steve Carell when Ricky Gervais wasn't there...and then when Steve Carell ran onstage with them it was PRICELESS!

What a god awful emmy broadcast. The poor cast of Ugly Betty and tons of stars had to look at people's asses all night- if you were going to have it in the round why didn't you put the mike in different places and move around the stage?!!? What a retard idea. Then to have all those stupid musical intervals- pointless!! The Jersey Boys was painful- how does a group of falsetto singers represent the mafia?!?!? Idiots. And I HATE Tony Bennett- people he's tone deaf. TONE DEAF!! I didn't need to hear his stupid song with Christina Aguilera (Just admit you're pregnant!!) and then him winning all those awards and having to listen to his music- painful

While I love 30 rock and think it's pretty funny (Vote for Osama!) I don't think it was deserving of Best Comedy- it was not as consistent as The Office or even Ugly Betty.

Sally Field- you would think by this point you would know how to do an acceptance speech- to war!

James Spader- marry Kaarina- she loves you

Jaime Pressly- congrats! Totally deserving- Joy is such a fantastic character

To Battlestar Galactica- you were robbed!! Robbed!! As was the Scrubs musical!!

Kanye West- go away. Shoo!

Why on earth did Ray Romano come out and do stand up?! So pointless! Pointless!

Portia de Rossi- best dressed. Vanessa Williams- worst. I love you Wilhemina but mint green Kaarina said- you might as well be Bjork!!

Katherine Heigl?! Really?! Seriously?! Am I the only one who watched Grey's last year!?!? Side note- did you notice that the ENTIRE cast was there except for Ellen Pompeo...the show was nominated for Best Drama and the star doesn't show up...good form...they always said she was a jealous bitch...

Helen Mirren rocks. Always.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Somebody go and Lock Up the Sperm Banks...

because a Jessica Simpson/Ken Paves baby must be prevented at all costs!!! A source said that:

"She and Ken were having dinner and Jess was moaning about how she couldn't find a man to commit and how immature the guys she has dated have been. Jess suggested artificial insemination. Ken is just as eager to have a baby, but his boyfriend isn't as keen on the idea. However, she and Ken agreed to begin the process in the next six months."

Oh god don't let it happen- the baby doesn't have a hope in hell of being intelligent!!


Lainey's Blind Item

Here's another Lainey Blind Item- it is super easy to any regular Lainey reader:

Dog Eat Dog
One after another – celebrity dog scandals. This one is extremely upsetting.

Miss Bottom had two. Both of the same fierce breed. They say of this breed that they should never be left alone together. That inevitably only one will remain.

And this is what happened recently. One ate the other. The other is gone. Killed. Seeing as she has such a wonderful publicist however, this tragedy likely won’t see the light of day.

But every dog owner will tell you – they are like our children. We are responsible for our children. We are responsible for making sure they are safe.
Clearly her dogs were not safe. Clearly she was too busy publicising a romance rather than prioritising her pet.


Answer: Hands down, 100%, no doubt about it Jessica Biel. So obvious! Everything Lainey has ever said about her is in here: the butt, the brilliant publicist, publicizing a romance. Plus I had seen her with pitbull type dogs.

Big Brother 8

So there has been some serious drama in my household the past few nights- I HAVEN"T HAD CABLE!!!! NO CABLE!! I literally thought I would go insane. I went from having tivo and the movie channels to basic cable which was scrambly and bad but free to two channels!!! When I moved in my landlord had told me that I would have free cable because it gets spliced from another apartment- he just wasn't sure where. Well both the guy across the hall and the guy upstairs (side note- am I the only one who thinks it's sketchy that 3/4 tenants have moved in the past month?!) moved out this past week...obviously I was getting it from one of them and they cancelled their cable. So I was left with the choice of either sucking it up and ordering cable or waiting for a new tenant to move in and order it. Well I could be waiting for WEEKS!! I don't know when people are moving what if they ordered digital- I couldn't splice it then. Or even worse- what if they are a freak who doesn't even get cable?!!? Could I risk it, would I survive?!

I talked to Erica about it and she encouraged me to wait til the end of the Weekend- I mean I'm going to be away anyway and maybe by then someone will have moved in and had it installed. I thought this seemed reasonable so I waited

Well last night was my breaking point. I couldn't handle it. CSI? No thank you. Not only was I missing the penultimate episode of BB8 where the final head of household was crowned, I also missed the first Survivor. This was unacceptable. So I ordered Rogers cable. Screw free- I need dependable. Hello Kraft Dinner- I will now be eating a lot of you since this was not in my budget but is a necessity- like water!

I ended up staying up and waiting til someone put up the torrent so I could download BB8...I then woke up at 7am to watch it so it wasn't spoiled for me today in any way. Yes people, I am in fact that neurotic!!

So thoughts- GO DONATOS!! You rock!! While you are no Chill still are a great team! Stupid Zach thinking he could win a "mental" challenge- although how they both got the Jen and Jessica questions wrong is beyond me. I was so happy they became the final two- totally deserving. They were hands down the best players and should be there. Those stupid drama queens in the jury house are idiots- they would have given it to Zach for sure over them- idiots.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Grey's Spoiler

I cannot for the life of me understand why I care about this- I just can't seem to break away even though I really want to! Anyways, just read that George is going to be one of Meredith's interns and her sister will be one of Cristina's. Also Cristina does go on her honeymoon and brings someone with her- I'm thinking either Meredith or her old lesbian lover

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Rachel Zoe- You're Done

The dumbass meth face wrinkled piece of trash had the NERVE to say the following to the New York Times about editrix extraordinaire Anna Wintour:

“Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say that I’m more influential. As great as it is, Vogue won’t change a designer’s business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week. When I worked with Nicole [Richie], there were things that she wore that designers had to remake for another season because there was such demand.’’

Who the fuck do you think you are?!?? You do NOT run look like you are 95 and you are only in fact 36!! THIRTY SIX!!! Can you freakin believe it?! To look like that and then insult the Devil in Prada herself! There is no way out of this you complete idiot!!

I Think That I Might Puke

Please look at the brooch being worn by Marc Jacobs's a DEAD MOUSE!! A REAL DEAD mouse!! He said he couldn't take it off because it was a gift from Courtney Love- oh my god this is making me puke a bit and cringe. How could Marc- of such amazing clothes- go out in public with this?!?

Grey's is still pretty much dead to me at this point...

Because I just heard that not only is stupid Jane Doe coming back but this time her and Alex will hook up. Yuck. It's so disappointing that such an amazing show when it first started has become sooo bad!!

Private Practice Reviews

Alright people- we all love Addison. She was the best female character on Grey's last year (mainly because they gave no storyline to Bailey). Anyways, they then go and give her a poorly planned spinoff. The introduction episode last year was terrible. And I've now been reading reviews for the first episode this season- and they say it's worse. Poor Addison- get her back on Grey's stat! And if you're switching things up anyway get rid of Meredith!

And the Oscar Host is...

Jon Stewart! Yay! I really liked him as host- he's only second in my mind to Steve Martin- I just thank god it's not Billy Crystal- can we say overrated?!?

Belle Black= Drunk

So Kirsten Storms- the first Belle- was arrested for DUI this weekend. Dumbass. I blame the devil though. If he hadn't possessed Marlena maybe she would have been able to teach her daughter not to drink and drive!

Note to LC- Stephen's Free!!!

So it was just announced that Hayden Panettiere and my little Stephen Coletti have broken up- it's about time! That girl is nasty! I'm sure she's now going to announce that she's dating her tv dad!

LC give Stephen a call- I'd love to see him on the Hills!!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Patti- Sit Down!!

I just read that Andy is now dating Miss Iran- I guess he and Tessa are officially over!


Big Brother 8

Oh I'm nervous people- NERVOUS!! I love Dick and Daniele- I want them to stay in the house- I do not want Zach and Jameka to win- they were both terrible and boring players.

Oh god I was hoping that I would never have to see Jen again- yuck. I love that the press cannot interview any evicted houseguests because of all of Amber's racist comments.

Oh for the love of god I know that Zach will win just to upset me- but I really want the Donado's to win- I mean I've watched this show all summer- I deserve this! hehe

I love that Zach decided to become Christian in order to get Jameka's vote- what a freak.

I am a nervous wreck- please Danielle you have to win! I'm scared it'll be Zach...Oh god Danielle time to step it up!! Oh no dick pretty much had it...

YAY DANIELE!! I mean I don't care what anyone says- Daniele is a fantastic competitor- and Dick is a master strategist! Oh god Zach is unbearable...I can't believe that he actually thinks he's intelligent...

Goodbye Jameka- won't miss you one bit. I need a break from your insanity. To be honest I don't really care to ever see any of the evicted houseguests ever again- the only one I liked was Joe.

Oh dammit I forgot how this worked. I was hoping that Zach couldn't compete.


Alright people- I feel that this pic helps to prove once and for all that Jessica Simpson's boobs are FAKE!! I mean anyone who's weight has yoyo'd that much, who is is so large for her frame, does NOT have boobs where the nipples point straight ahead when she's braless. Doesn't happen. Her boobs are front and centre...and FAKE!!

Lainey's Blind Item

Unfunny Douche

Primadonna bitch is shooting a movie in Toronto and amazing people with his demands. First he refused to be driven in a limo to the set an hour away and demanded to be helicoptered there instead by his production company. Then his coffee wasn’t made right so a poor intern received the tongue lashing of life. When she started tearing up, he told her to grow a thicker skin. The other day he wouldn’t come out of his trailer because he didn’t get his cappuccino. Word is he sulks for an hour if people don’t fall over themselves quickly or often enough over his sense of humour resulting in much prompting and reminding by assistants to overtly applaud his brilliance. And despite the fact that everyone was initially stoked to work with a local legend, he has, at one time or another, mistreated the entire crew so badly, they are eager to start selling him out.

Wonder how long it’ll take them to figure out he likes boys?

MY GUESS: I think this one is Mike Myers. He is filming his new hockey movie here, and he thinks he's pretty amusing. Plus local legend- who the hell else is a local legend besides Jim Carrey- and I haven't heard of him filming a movie here. He had no friends really from SNL and has a reputation of being an ass on set. Plus I'm pretty positive the wife was a beard- there was zero chemistry there. Plus I've heard the gaygay rumours

UPDATE: I am watching Etalk and they showed Eric McCormack in the audience- he could be this blind item...especially since he was known to be an ass on set and gay!

UPDATE #2: Just spoke about this with Linz and am back to thinking it's Mike Myers hands down. Green? Shrek.

Last Night

So I walked shamelessly up and down Bloor St. I gazed in windows, I looked in cars, I stared at everyone wearing passes. Nothing. No celebrities. Nada. So disappointing!!

But the good news of the night. First, I discovered the most amazing Winners ever. The bloor st Winners is frakkin amazing- I was so overwhelmed! I mean you name a designer they had it- and I mean real designers. I was shopping for a dress for Sheila's wedding and of course the one I picked out was the Alberta Ferretti- I almost passed out when I saw it was 899 dollars!! I ended up with the most amazing Calvin Klein dress and Chinese Laundry shoes- so excited!!

I then made my way down to Shopsy's- Becca introduced me to this little gem last year. Let me tell you they make the most amazing BBQ chicken salad on this planet....mmm....And I did something I've never done before- I ate alone in a restaurant for supper! And it wasn't bad- I just read...and ate my amazing salad.

Then I went across the street for the main event of the night- the Damian Rice concert!!! Let me tell you people- it was spectacular! Amazing!! One of the best shows EVER!! First off my seats were fantastic- 10th row back but first seats after the pit in the aisle so TONS of leg room. Then he came on. He was funny, charming, and haunting. His voice was pitch perfect...and sometimes he would sing without a Mike!!!!! And a lot was accoustic- most of the lighting was candlelight and just one spotlight on him...I haven't had chills like that since the Radiohead concert of yore. I laughed, I cried (seriously) was spectacular!!! He told all these funny stories- I just can't rave enough. An evening with Damian Rice did not disappoint...2 1/2 hours of just him- didn't waste my time with a stupid opening act. Best concert of the summer!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Fingers Crossed

So tonight is the night that I truly become Miss Independent. I am going to see Damian myself! Should be good! The concert doesn't start until 8 but I figured it's a waste of time to go home first because I'll pretty much have to turn around again right away. So instead I am going shopping- I need a dress for Sheila's wedding and some wedding gifts. I was going to go down to the Eaton Centre then realized that I have yet to do any Toronto Film Festival stalking! So instead I'm going to go shopping in Yorkville!! Wish me luck people!! i'm hoping for Ewan McGregor (although I don't know if he's even here- a girl can dream!)

White Trash Fight

So the dumbass seating chart people at the VMAs sat Tommy Lee and Kid Rock close to each other...smooth move. These are two ultimate dirtbags who have been fighting for years over Pamela Anderson. I mean Kid Rock famously beat down a hotel door in Vegas a few months ago to try to beat Tommy's ass.

So I guess after quite a few back and forth remarks they got into a full blown fight. Kid was dragged away but was actually allowed back in...after they kicked out Tommy! Classy!!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Justin's Hills Diss

Oh Justin you are such a snobby bitch- first you ignore my ladies from the didn't even acknowledge them. Then while they are onstage you said to MTV to play more videos- that you don't want to see the Simpsons on reality television- and while I love the Jessica and Ashlee bashing you don't need to say that while the Hills girls are standing right there!!

Brit Brit on the VMAs

She doesn't look very enthused...she looks like she's in slowmo...I mean She looks likes she is concentrating too hard....she doesn't have any the past she was usually more precise and stacatoo with her movements....I don't know..

I mean her body looks good...but the rest is just boring...the hair looks good...She is really nervous...and the lipsynching is a bit ridiculous...She looks like she's going to pass out...the camera isn't even focusing on her- it keeps panning the past it was always zoomed in on her...oh that was bad...poor BritBrit...

Big Brother 8

Oh I'm so nervous watching this HOH- I just know that Zach is going to win- when obviously I want Daniele to win!! I just know he will put up Dick and Daniele. Yay Daniele has tied him! Ach- Daniele you have to get this last question!! Go Daniele! Dammit!! Oh god- I can't believe Zach just won! oh god!

Oh god Zach is delusional- he thinks he's the best player...yuck...ok now Daniele and Zach are going to break up. I hate him- my hatred of him from the beginning is coming back in full force.

Oh god he is going to nominate Dick and Daniele...I truly don't think that Zach can win against any of them.

Zach you are such an arrogant asshole- you can't give speeches like that and expect their votes.

Congrats Kathy Griffin!!!

Yay Kathy Griffin!! She won an Emmy last night for her reality show- which kills me every time! Also- I watched her comedy special "Strong Black Woman" the other night and I was snorting with laughter. Amazing! Her speech was also ridiculously great when she won:

“A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this. He had nothing to do with this. Suck it, Jesus. This award is my God now.”


Time for a Stylist!!

Here is Jessica Simpson at a Roberto Cavalli launch party- ACH!! What the hell is she thinking?!? I swear she has the worst style ever!!

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Not Good...Not Good At All

Here is Nelly Furtado proving that not everyone should be a blonde- it's a privilege not a right!!

Friday, September 7, 2007

The Hills

So I'm watching the Hills from this week right now- I missed it on Monday due to a 90210 commitment.

First, Heidi just looks freaky. Her plastic surgery is just so scarily noticeable- she should have just left the nose. Ew- I thought that Spencer was the nastiest thing ever- well he's worse with the facial hair!! Nasty!

Yay Lo!!!!!! God I love that she's on this show!! Oh I love audrina's side updo...I have to do that tomorrow night- it's fabulous!! And I need more sideswept bangs- note to self. I'm also debating the chop- but then I won't be able to do the sideswept thing.

Oh god can't breathe...peeing a little...Justin Bobby drinks a catruck....HAHAHA!!!!!
Putting statements on things- god I hate stupid people who won't "conform"- don't they realize they are just conforming with all the idiots who believe the same thing

I love Spencers mentality- what a tard. Isolating yourself from your friends- smooth move!

If I Ever Have a Daughter...

Then we HAVE to have matching purses like Angelina and Zahara- so cute!!


Hills Breakup

Anyone who is a fan of the hills has GOT to read this article- it's hysterical. Basically it says that Heidi and Spencer are going to stage a breakup as a season finale cliffhanger- HAHA!! God I love this show!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Britney at the VMAs

This isn't shocking- it has been confirmed that BritBrit will be performing at the VMAs. I for one think it's a great move for both parties. There will be tons of publicity for it- and tons of people will want to watch it..if not live then on youtube. I think she's going to be a mess- and I'm so excited for it! The only sour note for me is that she has the dumbass Criss Angel will be onstage with her- he's just plain nasty

Big Brother 8

Yes, Dick and Daniele you voted correctly. Jessica was by FAR the biggest threat! Jameka can't play in HOH- strategically it was great. I am soooo nervous right now though- I am way too emotionally invested in this show. God Dick or Daniele HAVE to win right now- but I'm sure Eric will win to avenge his woman.

Oh Dick is hesitating too much during this competition...making me nervous!! OH GOD!! NOO!! Not Eric!


America- are you all crackpots- why on earth do you want Daniele to be nominated?!!? Like Eric an even try to do that!!

I would like to see Eric win- I like him more than Zach- plus Eric is useless and can't win anything.

I have to admit I'm a bit nervous with Zach having this- he could veto one of the nominations so that Daniele has to go up- I don't like this...

Ok that is good...Daniele is safe...

That was a good speech Eric- but I think it'll be to no avail. Yup- he's gone. Strategically good move. But they have to get rid of Jameka next- she might float through to the end- and she would beat them all. Oh I forgot- that means that America's player is gone...well it was lame anyway- they got him to do the lamest tasks!!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Big Brother 8

Oh this season just rocks! And tonight we get to see Janelle! Lisa Kenny you must be so excited!!

I am so glad that Dick and Daniele are controlling the game- they are so great to watch! For the love of god (hehe) I really hope Jameka gets evicted this week! I can't deal with the praying- she's psychotic!

Oh god Dick and Janelle are priceless! From Will- the love of my life- to Dick! HAHA!

I love that Daniele won the veto- let's face it though. Eric is useless. Evict Jess- she's the only one that can win anything!

Bachelor Breakup

So during my 2 weeks with no internet there was a huge reality tv breakup- Andy and Tessa called off their engagement. They claim to still be together but let's be real- there is no way a relationship will survive when it goes backwards. I give it a few weeks before they announce that it is all over.

As for why they called it off- I've been doing a bit of research at the request of Miss Patti. I guess they went to see a therapist who told them they should call it off and take it slow while they get to know each other. I mean that does make sense-would you want to marry someone after only a few alone dates? Also, Tessa decided not to relocate to Hawaii. I guess he only has a year left in Hawaii and may be transfered elsewhere.

Spidey gets Married

Tobey Maguire married his longtime girlfriend and baby mama Jennifer Meyer. While she's not necessarily the prettiest girl in Hollywood- she's loaded people! MGM anyone?!



Ok I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Boy George. While other kids were obsessed with Michael Jackson- I was all over the Culture Club. But even I can't get on board with this- what the hell!?!? I think I would rather see the long braids then this crap!


Halle Berry is Pregnant

After years of speculation with people saying she was pregnant every single time she had any bloating- she has confirmed that she is pregnant with Gabriel Aubry's child. I think this child will be competing with Shiloh for most beautiful baby!

Monday, September 3, 2007

Take It Off!!

OMG! Heidi was trying wedding gowns on on Friday- and of course she invited the paparazzi to film the event! Don't marry that douche! Run Heidi Run!!


Brangelina in Venice

Here are pics of Angelina and Brad at the Venice Film Festival- I personally think they look fantastic. I love the old Hollywood thing!

There Goes my Supper...

I just read that Paul McCartney is rumoured to be dating Renee Zellweger. What the hell is wrong with him?!! He's a freakin Beatle!! He could date anyone- and he picks that wrinkled bag of bones?!? WTF!?



Here is the pic of Maggie Gyllenhaal as the new face of Agent Provocateur lingerie. I'm not sure how I feel about this- while I don't find her pretty or attractive she does add a bit of class to the dominatrix lingerie...thoughts?


Brokeback Breakup

So after months of speculation Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger have confirmed their breakup. It isn't terribly shocking- they supposedly both have wandering eyes and she is supposed to be a total biatch (as per a friend of my mother's who worked with her). Poor little Mathilda...

Corey Feldman- Musician

This is a clip that Kaarina just sent to me- it's classic!! I love that Corey Feldman truly feels he's a musician- even though he is tone deaf and dances like a third rate Michael Jackson. Amazing!!