Glee

How do you two not have a show on Bravo?

Love Kurt's decorating board! We need more Kurt!

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary....come to mention it I think Baxter knows too much...

The Sue Sylvester master cleanse- Ipicack!!! Amazing!

More Sue and more Kurt- what an amazing episode!

KRISTEN CHENOWITH!!!! More amazingness! Loving the duet with Mr. Shue- I don't know this song!

I would kill to be the mistress of a wealthy stripmall tycoon who would let me sing at a rollerderby!!!

Fate brought them together!!

And now Kurt is singing- this is fantastic!!! Someone loves me!! Ok I hate the song but I love him

I love Brittany and Santana

Ok I love Kristin Chenowith but another jazzy song- yuck!! I HATE JAZZ!!

I don't like this whole Mercedes making the school feel something angle. I just want to hear her sing. No more of this shit- just sing and dance.

There really isn't much of a role for Quinn

Kurt's dad is just the cutest thing ever!! Oh look at my Kurt crying!!

I haven't had a drink in 45 minutes!! An all white production of the Wiz!

American Idol

Oh god Shania week- this will be painful. I mean it's not hard to sing better than her- she doesn't have a great voice. I just hate her songs. Yes I know she's from Timmins- she actually has a KL connection too. Her first manager was Mary Bailey from Kirkland and she used to write all her songs. I still don't like her

Lee- he is just always screaming to me. He doesn't appeal to me anymore

Mike- too Luther Vandross- not a fan. I've never even heard this song

Casey- he is doing a good job. It's the difference with him and Lee- he sings and doesn't just scream- he can do crescendos and not scream. Team Casey

Crystal- I adore this girl. This is probably my least favorite performance of hers because I hate the song but she still does a fantastic job. It is a bit slow. I can't believe the show has not paid for her to get a new tooth yet.

Aaron- of course he is doing a slow country song that sounds exactly like all his other ones. He seems like a nice boy but I'm over it. Next.

Siobhan- god I hate this girl. It's almost inexplicable- I see her and I tense up. She's soooo bad. I listened to this performance from my kitchen so I didn't have to watch her. To start out with she actually didn't sound as horrid brom far away. But then came the screaming....good lord the screaming....IT"S SO BAD!!

Dancing with the Stars

Jake- well he took off his shirt again to try to get the votes. The weird facial expressions were distracting

Evan- wow look at everything they did to his head for that mild concussion- i had a serious one and they didn't do anything like that.

Niecy- I known she's a comedian but she should still try to be serious sometimes. She is actually an ok job with this- it suits her stiffness

Erin- I wonder if they are doing it. If she gets to hook up with Maks I'm dying with jealousy. Oh and the sexy beast is wearing a suit- amazing!! And now he's stripping!! I guess that's one way to get the votes but I liked the tux. Oh Tom called them lovebirds...interesting...

Chad- christ this guy is hot!!! I can't even get over it.

Glee

MADONNA WEEK!! This is so exciting!!

Sue Sylvester might be the greatest character ever...subconsciously always looking for Susan!

Is it wrong that I want to dress like Emma?! Blouses with bows are amazing

Lindsay Lohan looks like something out of Lord of the Rings!!

And more Bring it On scenes- amazing! The tall people are freaking me out though.

Guy version of Madonna- Pantera!

Why is it that Kurt's background dancing is always my favorite thing?!? Even during the amazingness of Express Yourself I look at him

You are about as sexy as a cabbage patch kid!! It is exhausting!

Look at Emma dressed as the bride!! AMAZING!!! I love Ryan Murphy and all the Madonna tributes- it's like a gay wetdream!! Next- he should do Cher!

Up with people rejects! I just lost my train of thought you have so much margarine in your hair!

My parents were famous nazi hunters

Dyed my hair with napalm!

God Jesse is sexy! Do you still have my carebear- amazing!

The big mo!

Kurt in a tux is freakin amazing!! Look at Sue go! My mom just said she sings better than Madonna- ha!! This is amazing!

KURT VOGUING!!!

Sue is FUCKING AMAZING!! Look at her dance!!

Oh here comes Like a Virgin! Christ Mr. Shue looks sexy! This is the best way to lose your virginity- while singing!! Oh they are letting Santana sing- I've never heard her

I love that Rachel's lingerie has a cape!

You trump me out so I can wail on the last note!

KURT SINGING A SOLO!!!!! With a headset! KURT!!!!!!

Love Puck's face during what it feels like for a girl. Can't wait til he gets rid of his mohawk

Dancing with the Stars

THANK GOD!!! Ding dong the witch is dead. Thank god Kate is leaving- she is retarded

American Idol

Alicia Keys- yuck!!! Songs of inspiration- oh good lord will this be religious songs?! Why are they trying to piss me off

Casey- ok good song!! This is promising- I heart Fleetwood Mac. He looks like he had a major spray tan! But he is doing a great job with the song

Lee- ok The Boxer...please do not scream this song! Because it is such an amazing song! Oh god he started by screaming.

Tim- I love this song. He just can't hit the big moments well- he isn't talented enough as a singer. He tries but he struggles. And these accoustic songs point it out

Aaron- this is another one who always sounds the same. He has a good voice but not for me

Siobhan- oh god she is going to infuriate me. I know it. She will scream. And I will get mad. What the hell is on her head?!!? WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE WEARING!?! Her lips when she sings- I want to hit her. Oh my god she is ALL over the place- she is complete off key!! ANd the black brows- I hate her so much. This is soooo bad...and look she found a way to scream. Completely off key of course.

Mike- I'm guessing I won't like this- it will be gospely. Nickelback- interesting choice. Actually it is not bad. He is doing a good job with it

Crystal- ok Crystal did a great job although why on earth did she have to do the god song!? And the crying!? Too much!

Dancing with the Stars

Niecy- oh Labamba!! I heart that movie sooo much!! RICHIE!! See Niecy looks like she is having fun but then she will go to get judged and she can't handle it.

Chad- and here is the sexy beast himself. Cheryl looks way better without all the makeup. I love that she doesn't want the fact that they are banging to get in the way

Erin- I wish max would end it with the beard but he is still great. Erin is doing well with this dance and keeping up with him. Her transitions aren't great but she can work on that.

Jake- ok he is way better looking than Tom Cruise. Oh god he is going to come out in his underwear isn't he...and now he is going for the votes by showing his body....which is very nice. I wish I could just look at him and never hear him speak. And of course he is in his underwear. Putting on the pants was werid. Well he is up on his toes

Pamela- well of course she is doing Dolly Parton. Well at least they are keeping dressed. She actually isn't a bad dancer

Kate- mooo. She is such a cow. I love that he put Toni plus Carrie Ann- he definitely doesn't want to put his name with Kate's. What the hell is wrong with her hair- how can she think these weaves look good!? They are completely budget and so tacky. This is so painful- for the love of good send her home already. Who the hell is voting for this shit?!

Nicole- again I just don't even think that it's worth watching her because she has such an unfair advantage. And I can't handle the pube goatee!!

Evan- he so doesn't do it for me. And she decided to replace Edyta as the most naked. At least his hair doesn't look as brill creamed. But he is still awkward.

Please let it be Kate going home!

Glee

My god I've missed you. I can hardly express how thrilled I am that you are back- I'm retarded excited!

I am happy when I see recent pictures of Puck with a shaved head because I hate the mohawk.

Love the relationship calendar!!! Pulled a Jessica Simpson- HAHA!! Gained 40 pounds!!

Did anyone notice on Oprah that the cast said Lea Michele is most like her character and she was flattered. Does she not realize people hate that personality?!

You no longer confuse me with your she-man looks! I always want to cut off men's ponytails- she is my idol

Idina Menzel is in this episode- amazing!

I love that Emma has to clean up before she kisses with a huge kit!

I think I"m dating Rachel- HAHA

Finn doing the doors- amazing! I love how dorky he is- oh god he is sexy all at the same time. I don't even know what to do with myself I'm so excited.

KURT!!! That look at Finn singing was AMAZING!!

Ok I know most people like the other asian's dancing but I don't like it at all. Too odd for me.

Love watching Kurt "get down". I've missed him so much.

And here comes Lea's Spring Awakening costar as the love interest. God I can't wait to hear him sing.

I like to give impromptu concerts to the homeless!

Oh Jesus he's good. I need a moment. I can see him as Roger in Rent....and that is retarded sexy to me...

There was a mouse in mine!!!

Those sweaters make her look home-schooled.. Best.line.ever.

I ONCE TAUGHT A CHEERLEADING SEMINAR TO A YOUNG SARAH PALIN!!

Highway to Hell as a choral song- fucking amazing!!! This is why I never got along with Mr. Binnendyk- he didn't have this kind of vision

Idina Menzel- bring out the wicked!

Most of the show choir directors that I make out with are gay

McKinley High old maids club. AMAZING!

Ok I love her plaid jumper- maybe I have some homeschool tendencies too...

American Idol

Seriously who out there hates me- Elvis?! I HATE ELVIS!?

And while I love Adam Lambert to bits and he is by far my favorite idol ever I don't necessarily know if he is qualified for this

MR SHUE IS BEHIND HIM!!!! My god I'm excited for Glee tonight!!

"My tongue is not nearly as talented as yours" Ryan Seacrest. AMAZING

Crystal- god I adore Crystal. I've never heard this song but she is doing a great version- maybe I just hate Elvis' voice and that's why I don't appreciate his music. Because this is great. Just crown her already

Andrew- this is a retardedly boring version of this song. He makes everything boring. Oh god- I just realized I've been singing the wrong lyrics- I didn't know it was rabbit

Tim- he is singing this song the same way he did Hallelujah. His voice isn't strong enough to do this. This is boring too. And when he sings help it is way too flat

Lee- I think he should be doing this at the original tempo and keep it fun. This is too slow. Now that I watched him with my mom all I can think is he screams too much

Aaron- oh god this is awkward. Why do these people do that to his colour?! He is just learning how to perform so at least he is trying

Siobhan- Oh god what the hell did she do with her hair?!?! She looks like a 75 year old high school librarian. Her mouth when she sings makes me want to punch her. She sounds like a lounge lizard singer. Yuck. I hate the affectations of her voice. Yuck. Oh look she found a place to scream

Michael- I don't love him to be honest. I don't enjoy the R&B stuff. He should have done a fast song to get in everyone's mind. He can perform and is fun- that is what he should have done. This is boring.

Katie- I'm sure she'll make this old. This girl needs shoulder length hair asap. The long hair makes her look boxy.

Casey- again he is great. I have never heard this song but it's fantastic when he sings it. He NEEDS to do Pearl Jam!

Dancing with the Stars

I am so behind in all my tivo watching- seriously this is stressing me out! I'm a day late with Dancing with the Stars

Erin- at work today we were debating if she is getting it on with my sexy beast Maks or with Evan. The dance is ok. THe girl can kick. And well anything with Maks is sexy! I just wish he would sahve. I also adore that he spoke out against Kate- amazing!!

Evan- I don't find this guy graceful at all. He looks like a ventriloquist doll- he is a younger version of Wayne Newton. I mean the hair is ALWAYS atrocious!! His partner makes him look good. I never liked him as a skater and I don't enjoy him as a dancer.

Niecy- this is always one of my least favorite dances- I find it too slow. Neecy is doing a good job but again- is it because her partner is so good!? She needs to move faster. She really has to learn how to take criticism better though- she can dish it but she can't take it

Aidan- again Edyta did not want to wear clothes. This dance is boring. Next.

Nicole- I don't even feel like critiquing her. She has an unfair advantage and shouldn't be in this competition.

Jake- I can't believe that he is still here. Oh god look at that retarded shirt- he still hasn't learned any social skills. I bet he cries again. I wonder who came with Vienna to famewhore this week. He has to stop counting out loud. And making weird facial expressions.

Kate- oh god she is still here. She doesn't know much about the Tango?! Does she live under a rock. Oh god this woman is too much- if she doesn't want things played out in public then don't make yourself a public figure- just go away you freak. Oh and look she cries- time to rally for the votes. BTW that is just the worst weave- who the hell wants that haircut with those bangs. She looks like a Zombie looking up at the ceiling. What a waste of a good song on this crap. For the love of god let her go home. Well at least they ended with a little trick

Chad- good lord this guy is hot. It's retarded how attractive he is. They are so getting it on. Good lord look at his body- I have NEVER seen a football player with such a nice body. This is retarded sexy

Pam- oh good they have unleashed her in a sexy dance. This could be a bit too much. Am I the only one getting a hatchet face vibe here?! Oh and there are the stripper splits. She looks like she has had fresh injections this week

For the love of god let it be Kate going home