The Oscars

Alright here it is- the main event. I am so excited to see Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin host. I am just starting to appreciate the genius of Alec Baldwin (thank god the Baldwins haven't been bombed again) but Steve Martin...he's a legend in my home. I was raised with a fine appreciation for his work. And I would love to one day pick out a thermos for him.

Oh I like this Actress and Actor part. Colin Firth you are such a sexy sexy beast!!! I heart you!!

Look at Gabby posing- she rocks!

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! THIS IS AWESOME!! I'm so glad they got him to sing and dance- I love what he has become!! It's why Warren Beatty stayed in bed- that's AMAZING!!!!

Biggest pair since Dolly Parton- so cute!! OH GOD I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH!!!!! And I love that Jeff Bridges can do that whistling thing.

Oh look it's Melanie Griffith- at least they kept her off the carpet so she wouldn't scare the children

I'm wondering how Robert Downey Jr. scored a front row seat when he isn't nominated

Captain Von Trapp again- love him!!

That Damn Helen Mirren was a cute job

HE JUST REFERENCED BEING BORN A POOR BLACK CHILD!!!! I almost fell off my chair with excitement!

Why does George Clooney look so angry being pointed out!?

Love the Christoph reference to finding jews

Taylor Lautner looks so confused- he is such a tool

Alright Best Supporting Actor- it will probably be Christoph Waltz but it could go to Christopher Plummer- in this category they sometimes go with the sentimental favorite. And it was Christoph Waltz- he seems like such a nice guy

Is Luna Lovegood the voice of the blonde cartoon character? It looks like her

I think Up has this in the bag. Of course- it was the one nominated for Best Picture

Two young actresses who have no idea who they are- awesome. Oh god Amanda Seyfried is way too go for dumbass Cyrus. I do think Amada's dress is very pretty and love the top- it's just very bug. Oh god Miley you are soooo annoying in such an inappropriate dress!!

Of course it was T Bone Burnett for best song- not a surprise.

I don't love Tina Fey's dress but I love her hair and like the hair. The glasses are interesting with the blue lenses. Ok this is a super cute segment. Although is it just me or did he look like Patrick Dempsey with the hair

Ok I think Quentin Tarantino will win best screenplay. Nope the Hurt Locker- I hope thought it was the only award he might win. This might mean it won't get best picture.

MOLLY RINGWALD!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!! Was this show written for me!?!??! Ok loving the John Hughes montage- it represents me. DUCKIE!!!!!!! DUCKIE!!!!!!! Ok I loved that. JESUS CHRIST!!! DUCKIE!!!! Yes I know that he is on two and a half man but really he will always be Duckie. Why do they all have to help Molly Ringwald? Look at Michael C Hall- what the hell happened to his face?!!? Jesus what the hell happened to Judd Nelson!?!? That is why drugs are bad!! Oh Danke Schein- that was cute.

What the hell is Zoe Saldana wearing!?!?!!? That is HORRIBLE!!! HORRIBLE!!

Why the hell is that woman on the stage during the documentary short?!!? This guy looks so confused?!!? And he looks pissed she is talking

At least they aren't doing the acceptance speech in the audience anymore- that was insulting

Ok Ben Stiller that is pretty cute!! I like when he does spoofs. Actually it wasn't as funny when he started talking...he could have done way more with that

Precious won best adapted screenplay- I'm shocked. I thought for sure it would go to Jason Reitman. Where is Oprah?! Ok this writer is horrible at giving speeches- he hasn't thanked anyone from the movie

It was the highlight of her life- it should be Queen Latifah getting to work with Steve Martin

Interesting that they now do the honorary oscars in a special ceremony. It's probably a good idea as they will get more attention

He is doing Best Supporting Actress?!? Who won last year that is supposed to be there!?!? Ok just saw it was Heath Ledger- this makes sense. Ok Monique has this in the bag. Wow she got a standing ovation- this movie may win since they all seem to love it

Did anyone else notice that Tom Ford just took a step away from Sarah Jessica Parker? I love watching him- he is so egotistical I love it!!

I can't believe these twilight losers are here- get the riff raff off the stage. Kristen Stewart looks awkward and is shaking and moving and fidgeting- so awkward. And please like their movie is a horror- it's the lamest vampire concept the world has ever known. I can't believe the academy succombs to the pressure of the dumbasses who think it's a good movie

I adore the dress that the statue girl is wearing- it's beautiful

Wow the hurt locker is kicking ass- I thought all of these technical awards would go to Avatar

Shit with that music I thought it might be Elizabeth Taylor and a real movie star. Instead it's Elizabeth Banks who I've only really enjoyed on television- loved her as the drunk on Modern Family

John Travolta- didn't expect to see him

Ok Steve Martin's introductions are just killing me. He is by far my favorite Oscar host ever- I think that he is great alone but this is good for me too

Why the fuck did Demi Moore just do such a dramatic entrance!? Why did she wait so long to walk- hello no one cares

Oh god the In Memoriam- I always cry. Jesus they added James Taylor- are they trying to kill me?!!? Brittany Murphy still saddens me- she was so tragic. Yuck what the hell is Michael Jackson doing there. Oh Natasha Richardson- so sad. I'm glad they ended with Karl Malden

Jason Bateman I heart you!!

The Cove- I have heard really good things about this movie but I'm not sure if I can emotionally handle it. Oh they cut them off because of the sign- interesting! They wanted no politics! That was horribly awkward.

I adore Quentin Tarantino- he just makes me smile

I don't understand the group of people on the stage right now- it doesn't make much sense to me. Ok they are relaying stories...it's odd though...oh Jeff Bridges looks like he's going to cry- too cute!

Interesting that they still play the titanic theme for Kate Winslet. It has to go to Jeff Bridges. I just saw his father on Seinfeld today- his family is classic!!

I'm interested to see who will come to speak about the best actresses- they should bring out a big gun for Meryl Streep. Oh and here is the mighty Oprah!

Why is Forest Whitaker doing Sandra Bullock? Ok he directed her- that makes sense.

Helen Mirren has a tattoo on her hand?!?!?! WHAT?!?!?!? Oh god that is ruining it for me- a dame shouldn't have a tattoo!!!

I would love for Gabourey Sidibe to win because she is just too cute. First her, then Meryl and then Sandra- I just don't think it's a strong enough movie and performance for Sandra to win. Ok I'm crying

Meryl Streep is the best- there is no doubt. Oh it was Sandra Bullock

I love how George Clooney's girlfriend looks pissed off that she has to stand for Sandra Bullock. I agree- you didn't earn it

Ok Sandra Bullock did have a good speech but it would have been such a good moment if Gabourey Sidibe had won

Oh they brought out Streisand for director...therefore they think it might be Kathryn Bigelow. They want a previous nominee to give it to her- it's like when they brought out Coppola, Lucas and Spielberg for Scorcese. I would like to see it be a woman- I admit it. There are two Canadians in the category- interesting!!

And it was a woman! Good for her!

Oh Tom Hanks will be giving Best Picture. I think it will be the Hurt Locker. And it is.