Dancing with the Stars

What the hell is wrong with today? How the hell is Kate Gosselin the biggest celebrity. Bow down to Brenda fucking Walsh bitches!!

OH GOD!! Why the hell does Evan Lysecek always always use an entire tube of Brilcream whenever he goes on tv.

Oh look Vienna is getting more air time- and she brought Gia along to help encourage her famewhoring

Oh god Chad Ochocinco- this guy is very hot yet is SUCH a huge tool! He legally changed his name to Ochocinco because his jersey was 85....but that is not the translation!! What a retard!! Cheryl Burke is growing out her hair yet it still looks horrid. Is it the retard bangs that make it so bad? Like the rest of the football players he is a good dancer.

Again- bow down bitches!! Oh yuck she is with Mark Ballas- this guy annoys the hell out of me. Ok she looks terrified and is showing it on her face everytime she messes up. Own it and she these bitches how it's done!! Question- what is it about her that just makes me swear a lot?! Is that an anchor tattoo on her leg? Oh god that is such a drunken sailor tat!! She was probably with one at the time!

Erin Andrews- oh someone else who I have no idea who she is. But she gets to dance with that sexy bitch Maxim!! Christ I love him!! She just gets to be on here because she got a stalker. I guess you have to be infamous and not just famous to be on here. And what is up with all the huge breasts out there- first Shannon now this girl. Are they trying to compete with Pam Anderson? Side note- I'm thrilled Max is back in my life! Oh I love her bracelets. Too bad this girl probably won't have a fan base so Max will leave soon.

Oh and here's Jake. Today Melanie said she hopes he goes home- HAHA!! He is such a loser! Do we all remember his horribly awkward dance in St. Lucia!? This should be bad! Oh a Viennese Waltz- how long until we here some dumbass reference to the fact that his fiancee is named Vienna? Oh and they are showing him upset- what a way to get votes! A peach bowtie- really!? Just looking at him he is so ridiculously good looking- he just needs to do a lot of Blue Steele expressions and never talk abain for me to be thrilled. I always think that men have an advantage in this program because they really don't have to do anything and their partners make them look good. Did he just drop her? Is that Ed- he is here milking this too?!

Niecy Nash- I've seen her on some E! programs and I think she is pretty funny. She is having fun with this- I think she could be good this season. She has that I just don't give a shit attitude that you need.

Evan Lysecek- I CAN"T HANDLE THE BRILCREAM!! WHen he just leaves his hair alone it's not horrible. Well she has an advantage of winning since he's a figure skater and he has years of training. Oh look a beaver landing in Vancouver- it reminds me of my trip!! We did a site seeing tour in one! Oh I'm turning in a different direction...what the hell are you- Zoolander!? Can you not turn left!? Like that is a major challenge!

Buzz Aldrin- what the hell are you thinking!?!? Oh my god my eyes!! What the hell has your wife done to her face?!!? They brought this Ashley girl back but got rid of Karina- I wonder who she pissed off to get replaced. Dance for the stars? Oh god that can get old. Oh god this is painful- I mean bless his heart for trying but come on. He can hardly move.

Pussycat Doll Nicole- what a horribly staged singing moment. Oh Nicole and Derek are totally going to get it on. And they have such an unfair advantage- she is a dancer! That is her profession!

Aidan Turner- who the hell is this guy?! And he is not that attractive to me- I don't really enjoy the whole tangerine look! Oh look Edyta has found another way took naked on this show. An entirely sheer outfit with a few fringes....family friendly television at it's best! HAHA! Actually it's better than violence I guess. This guy will be one of the first to go- I mean who the hell is he. And he's all hunched- not great.

Kate Gosselin- for the love of god do not vote for her. I mean I admit I used to watch the show but it is definitely time for her to go away. I don't care what you do with your life as long as you are honest- I have more respect for the Rock of Love hos than Kate Gosselin. She is always putting on a show and it's just an act. She just lies about everything. If she just lets her bitch out and stop with the average mom shit I may like her again. Oh Jesus here comes the for all the moms shit. Ok send her home. That outfit is sooo unflattering on her! And her skin is the same colour of orange!

Pamela Anderson- oh I sere who her beauty idol was growing up- you can see it with Auntie Vi's makeup. Who the hell is this Damian guy. Pam- you are forgetting all of your stripping experience. Of course you've danced before. Just watching her makes me feel like I have to go for a bath. She is soooo dirty!! She actually looked a billion times better during the rehearsal footage when her face was cleaned off. Of course she had to rip off this guys clothes. Her boobs don't look as ginormous as they once were- I think she had them redone

Ok that Aidan will probably go