American Idol

Oh god Usher- he is such a douche. I have always disliked him.

Siobhan- I dislike her sooo much. Why the hell are they starting the show with her- she is horrid. And she will scream to anger me. This sounds awful- she makes weird faces and is flat. Oh god the chorus- make it stop! This is SO BAD!!! I don't understand what notes she thinks those are. Oh look she is screaming. Shocking. Those are not notes. And the socks. I can't handle this.

Casey- this is a really great song choice for him. I'm glad he is going with blues. Did he just forget the words? That was awkward. He always has that weird smile- he almost looks stoned. Well he probably is..

Michael- this is such a hard week for me because I hate the music so much. I can't listen to this. Again he is a good singer but I just don't enjoy the song.

Didi- I actually like this song. I hated the into but when she does the chorus it's ok.

Tim- what a HORRIBLE song choice!! Who the hell would ever think of this song!?!? I have always hated Anita Baker. Oh god make it stop

Andrew- it's him doing a weird version of a song..AGAIN!! It is so gimmicky. Can he not just sing a song the way it is written? He made it sleepy. It is all one note

Katie- I have a feeling this is going to bother me. What HORRIBLE styling!! She is dressed like I would be if I was 13 and dressing like a punk rocker for Halloween. Are those shorts??!!? Good lord! The head shaking is also painful. This is very boring- she looks sleepy

Lee- I hope he does something bluesy. That was a great song choice for him- he did well

Crystal- she must hate having to work with Usher. God I hope she kills it here. I heart her. I"m not sure piano was the best idea- she is really focusing on the piano. Oh she's standing. I hate the heels and the dress. She looks awkward. But she sounds fantastic.

Aaron- hate this song. The kid can sing. Yet again the stylists went to town on him. They gave him an Ace Ventura hairdo and groomed his brows.

Dancing with the Stars

I would love to see Kate Gosselin go as she is such a cow but it will be that soap guy as no one knows who the hell he is.

Pamela and Damian are in the bottom two?!!? I am shocked! I mean I guess girls don't relate to her and that is who votes

Oh this anticipation is killing me- let it be Kate in the bottom two!! Kate looks like such a cow right now- I can't believe how much joy it is giving me. YUCK!!!

Shannon and Pam are in the bottom two!? This is horrid- they are two of the intriguing ones.

Brenda Walsh!?!? Kate and that no name guy from the soaps are still in!!? Yet again- the viewers show their lack of talent.

Dancing with the Stars

I missed the beginning but I'll watch the recap tomorrow.

Evan- I HATE HIS HAIR!!! He has such an unfair advantage- I mean that's if he learned how to turn left..

Side note- I cannot believe that Tori Spelling and her loser husband haven't famewhored themselves on this show yet

Niecy- i don't think she'll be going anywhere- she definitely has a demographic that will be voting for her. No one else is this amusing. And I love the confidence that she has on the dance floor regardless of her abilities- she is having fun and you can tell

Jake- oh god I hope they don't let him speak. I wish he would just look pretty. I wonder what bachelor famewhore will be in the audience tonight. Interesting song choice for Jake...hip to be square....so others have noticed that he is a nerd in a hot body. Actually more of a dork. Oh god that solo dance was painful!! Kipton- you are too god to be a famewhore!

Buzz- oh god his wife's face is TERRIFYING!!! As long as we don't see Buzz doing any sexy salsas we'll be good. Oh god he saluted an American Flag and now they are dancing to fly me to the moon....they are sooo playing this up!

Nicole- I just don't believe that this is a challenge for her. I am scared though that her skirt is going to fall off- I mean that is super low. She is so superior to most of thse people

Erin- or more importantly Max my sexy sexy beast. What is with the horrid peach colour that all these dancers are wearing?! It's atrocious. Oh god the singer of this song is HORRID!! She is super stiff- this season's Denise Richards. I don't think I'll be seeing much more of Max which is upsetting

Pam Anderson- I hope she actually looks clean this week. Yet another example of how unattractive satin is- it is giving her a huge belly. Granted it could be coke bloat

Chad- what a weird dress with that rack. The guy is ridiculously hot but is a tool. But he is wearing the hell out of that suit.

Kate Gosselin- I really want her to go home this week- it is time for her to go home. She is such a freakin cow and is a moron. I hope people see what a horrid person she is. And the fake tears were lovely. Oh god a lot of people quit on me- oh poor you Kate. Her hair looks so much better off of her face. She is sooo awful. And that was definitely a lift.

American Idol

Miley Cyrus? Seriously?! Are they trying to infuriate me!? This is like Britney Spears or Justin Bieber giving singing advice- it's horrid. God she's a pompous moron

Lee- ok I hate the song. What the hell kind of song choice was this? And the necklace is horrid

Paige- Jesus Christ what the hell is happening here!?!? Her horrid breathiness, her lack of enunciation, the weird arrangement, the fact that she is completely off key- this is one of the worst things i've ever seen. She isn't hitting the right notes or belting out the right notes.

Tim- ok this is such a simple song but he is singing it well. And he's performing it. He is going nowhere- he's not the best but he's cute.

Aaron- oh god I hate this song. Who the hell rolled up his sleeves like that?!!? That looks soooo bad!!! Actually this was a good song choice for him- he sounds good doing it. Oh and turn the collar down...and too much denim! Hate the styling but appreciate the kid can sing

Oh look there's Miley's fame whoring mom

Crystal- oh god poor girl has to pretend she wants to listen to Miley Cyrus. SERIOUSLY- you god Miley to sign with Melissa Etheridge!?!?!? What the hell? Of course she is amazing- she kicks all these peoples asses. Christ this girl is fast- she sped it up and was amazing.

Mike- oh god does someone out there hate me? What have I done to deserve this torture?! I HATE THIS SONG!! I cannot listen!!! Next

Andrew- jesus christ another horrible song choice. And you don't know the freakin lyrics- I know the goddamn lyrics and I hate it!!

Katie- she has a good voice but she has a weird tone that makes everything almost flat and old. She looks like Chris Kattan doing Antonio Bandaras trying to look sexy and lure the ladies....it's not a good look. This is horrid. Next- I hate her tone- it sounds awful. What the hell was Kara talking about- she had a country twang the whole time

Casey- I don't love the song but he sounds really great doing it. It was a good choice for him because he sings it well.

Didi- of all the songs in the world this is what you chose!?!?!? This is horrid!!! So boring!! Next

Siobhan- what the hell is with her glasses?!!? Seriously there is something seriously wrong with this girl- I can't handle her. And I hate the song. Again. God these songs suck- does no one have any taste?!!? What the hell is she Sanjaya?!? What the hell is up with her hair?! Oh christ did she skunk it?!? Is it 1997!? Did I miss something!? CHRIST SHE IS SCATTING!! AND she decided to scream because she seems to think that is "SINGING". I HATE HER!! That was atrocious

Dancing with the Stars

What the hell is wrong with today? How the hell is Kate Gosselin the biggest celebrity. Bow down to Brenda fucking Walsh bitches!!

OH GOD!! Why the hell does Evan Lysecek always always use an entire tube of Brilcream whenever he goes on tv.

Oh look Vienna is getting more air time- and she brought Gia along to help encourage her famewhoring

Oh god Chad Ochocinco- this guy is very hot yet is SUCH a huge tool! He legally changed his name to Ochocinco because his jersey was 85....but that is not the translation!! What a retard!! Cheryl Burke is growing out her hair yet it still looks horrid. Is it the retard bangs that make it so bad? Like the rest of the football players he is a good dancer.

Again- bow down bitches!! Oh yuck she is with Mark Ballas- this guy annoys the hell out of me. Ok she looks terrified and is showing it on her face everytime she messes up. Own it and she these bitches how it's done!! Question- what is it about her that just makes me swear a lot?! Is that an anchor tattoo on her leg? Oh god that is such a drunken sailor tat!! She was probably with one at the time!

Erin Andrews- oh someone else who I have no idea who she is. But she gets to dance with that sexy bitch Maxim!! Christ I love him!! She just gets to be on here because she got a stalker. I guess you have to be infamous and not just famous to be on here. And what is up with all the huge breasts out there- first Shannon now this girl. Are they trying to compete with Pam Anderson? Side note- I'm thrilled Max is back in my life! Oh I love her bracelets. Too bad this girl probably won't have a fan base so Max will leave soon.

Oh and here's Jake. Today Melanie said she hopes he goes home- HAHA!! He is such a loser! Do we all remember his horribly awkward dance in St. Lucia!? This should be bad! Oh a Viennese Waltz- how long until we here some dumbass reference to the fact that his fiancee is named Vienna? Oh and they are showing him upset- what a way to get votes! A peach bowtie- really!? Just looking at him he is so ridiculously good looking- he just needs to do a lot of Blue Steele expressions and never talk abain for me to be thrilled. I always think that men have an advantage in this program because they really don't have to do anything and their partners make them look good. Did he just drop her? Is that Ed- he is here milking this too?!

Niecy Nash- I've seen her on some E! programs and I think she is pretty funny. She is having fun with this- I think she could be good this season. She has that I just don't give a shit attitude that you need.

Evan Lysecek- I CAN"T HANDLE THE BRILCREAM!! WHen he just leaves his hair alone it's not horrible. Well she has an advantage of winning since he's a figure skater and he has years of training. Oh look a beaver landing in Vancouver- it reminds me of my trip!! We did a site seeing tour in one! Oh I'm turning in a different direction...what the hell are you- Zoolander!? Can you not turn left!? Like that is a major challenge!

Buzz Aldrin- what the hell are you thinking!?!? Oh my god my eyes!! What the hell has your wife done to her face?!!? They brought this Ashley girl back but got rid of Karina- I wonder who she pissed off to get replaced. Dance for the stars? Oh god that can get old. Oh god this is painful- I mean bless his heart for trying but come on. He can hardly move.

Pussycat Doll Nicole- what a horribly staged singing moment. Oh Nicole and Derek are totally going to get it on. And they have such an unfair advantage- she is a dancer! That is her profession!

Aidan Turner- who the hell is this guy?! And he is not that attractive to me- I don't really enjoy the whole tangerine look! Oh look Edyta has found another way took naked on this show. An entirely sheer outfit with a few fringes....family friendly television at it's best! HAHA! Actually it's better than violence I guess. This guy will be one of the first to go- I mean who the hell is he. And he's all hunched- not great.

Kate Gosselin- for the love of god do not vote for her. I mean I admit I used to watch the show but it is definitely time for her to go away. I don't care what you do with your life as long as you are honest- I have more respect for the Rock of Love hos than Kate Gosselin. She is always putting on a show and it's just an act. She just lies about everything. If she just lets her bitch out and stop with the average mom shit I may like her again. Oh Jesus here comes the for all the moms shit. Ok send her home. That outfit is sooo unflattering on her! And her skin is the same colour of orange!

Pamela Anderson- oh I sere who her beauty idol was growing up- you can see it with Auntie Vi's makeup. Who the hell is this Damian guy. Pam- you are forgetting all of your stripping experience. Of course you've danced before. Just watching her makes me feel like I have to go for a bath. She is soooo dirty!! She actually looked a billion times better during the rehearsal footage when her face was cleaned off. Of course she had to rip off this guys clothes. Her boobs don't look as ginormous as they once were- I think she had them redone

Ok that Aidan will probably go

Thin Ice

This weekend I watched a television show called Thin Ice and let me tell you- it had huge potential but was horrid. What ruined it- Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Girl is a tool and can hardly read- who the hell decided to make her a host?!!?!? About 10 years ago there was a different figure skating show on every weekend- it was all over the place. There is definitely a market for this but involving a complete inappealing hostess like that could not have attracted viewers. All they needed was Kurt Browning. It could have come back and found an audience but she made the whole thing WAY too awkward. Why the hell does this girl keep getting jobs- she's horrid!

The Book of Negroes

I just finished the Book of Negroes and let me tell you I am highly recommending it. It is one of the first books I've read on the African slave trade and it was incredibly informative and obviously quite disturbing. But beyond that it was well written and well researched. I always love reading any historical novel that can teach me about the period and this was no exception. I have to admit there were definitely times in the first 100 pages where I wanted to put the book in the freezer because it was so incredibly disturbing but I pushed through and it was well worth it. A great read.

Plus fun side note- my great grandfather's grandfather was a man named William Wilberforce and he abolished the slave trade in Britain. He is a character in this book which I very much appreciated.

The Book Thief

I had heard nothing but rave reviews for this book and had been meaning to read it for a while. It was fantastic- such a great read! It is considered youth lit but it is great for anyone. It is the story of a young girl in Nazi Germany and is heartwarming, charming, and incredibly tragic. It is very well written and the author made a very interesting choice for the narrator...Death. It is written in a unique style and is a very quick read- don't be intimidated by the size of the book.

Survivor

I still think it's great what JT did last week- it really was the best move

Dragon slayer chi!? This guy is insufferable. But it is interesting that Russell isn't participating. He really isn't playing this game well- he has to be careful.

Ok Colby that with that chocolate was insufferable- just eat the stupid piece of chocolate.

Why don't they put Colby in the challenge for James?

We all know I have a sweet tooth but how many cakes and cookies can you eat?!

I'm glad that Rob is saying they have to flush out the idol- they need to vote for Parvati and Rob

I think that Russell thinks that the idol is more powerful than it is. If Coach switches over actually I would love it- let's see how his integrity goes. Yup he's a big enough douche to switch over

As much as I liked Russell on the last season I have always been on team Rob

I want the heroes to win because Russell can go home. But once they have the pieces Rob will kick ass. That puzzle really wasn`t hard- there were huge simple pictures!

Rupert is playing a super bad game this time- he is so against Tom and not playing for the team

These people are retarded- why would they vote out Tom when he is a strong player!

JT what the hell- why didn`t you vote for James- that was such a dumb move because he was good in challenges. Amanda and James are retards- how people justify keeping them baffles me.

American Idol- Results

It is not shocking that Didi made it- she was really good this week

Siobhan- although she's super weird she will make it- yup she did

Well they are bringing Paige and Katelyn up- I think Paige will be the one going home. Oh I'm wrong Katelyn is going home. I am SHOCKED that Paige made it after that HORRIBLE rendition of Smile. She's the only black female...is that why?

Well they are going to the guys- for the love of god let it be Todrick going home. Of course Casey made it- look at him!! And of course Tim did- he did a great job last night. Let it be Todrick going!! YES!! Thanks god!

Crystal- of course she's going through- she's by far the best! It's interesting that no one went to hug her...

See Mike is going and connecting with everyone but Crystal still looks weird- is she sick again?

I can't believe Lacey made it- she's awful- and look Paige went of her way to go hug her...what is up with Crystal and the others

I'm surprised Aaron made it since he is so awkward but the young ones like him

I think Andrew will be going- the Genie in a Bottle gimmick didn't work. It's Aaron going home- I'm shocked.

Ok Katie and Lilly- I'd like to see LIlly go because she is so odd but Katie has made really bad song choices. And it is Lilly going home and she looks completely shocked. Well this performance is reminding me why she should be going home- she's awful

American Idol

Lee- seriously? Fireflies!? I would think this song is way too lame for a guy like this. He should be doing Mrs Jones or something like that. Actually this is a much better version of the song.

Alex- ok this is a very good choice for his voice. This sounds like him- I can't believe that he still had this mullet. And I think he needs the guitar because he never knows what to do with his hands

Tim- oh poor Tim. He is always ripped apart. OH JESUS!! This is one of my favorite songs of all time and KD Lang just did an absolutely spectacular version at the olympics. I do like his voice and when he holds notes but he is almost flippant. He has a weird grin and doesn't seem to understand the lyrics. Ok his best but don't like what he did to the song because I'm a purist

Andrew- is he seriously doing Genie in a Bottle!?!?! I think he wants another youtube song. This is weird and the last syllable of every sentence is dropping off

Casey- I have no idea what this song is but it is putting me to sleep. This is another guy who could do Mrs. JOnes....or some old school Pearl Jam. OH- he should do Temple of the Dog or Jeremy- that would be amazing!

Aaron- this just seems really shaky to me. I have no idea what this song is either. Ok now I now it. He is definitely a country guy and incredibly awkward but with work will be good

Todrick- OH GOD!! MAKE IT STOP!!! Who the hell let him sing Queen?!!?!? I mean especially after Glee did it so fantastic. I HATE falsetto! And when his voice is low it's not strong enough for this song- kid is NOT Freddie Mercury. I really hate he goes home

Mike- jesus more falsetto. Ok this isn't for me at all.

Ok going home- Todrick and Alex but maybe Andrew

Video of the Day

I really have to start watching Jimmy Kimmel more often- he makes the best video clips!! I love when Lenny Kravitz sings!

American Idol

Katie- ok I think Breakaway could be a good choice for her. I love this song but this girl just can't seem to sing a fun song. This isn't a good key for her- it's too low.

BTW I really appreciate that they just jumped into it and there were no photo montages

Siobhan- she is a good singer. I know that people will praise her for going accoustic but I actually think at times it's easier to sing that way- people can't tell if you are off key! I mean she's good but it is such a depressing song- why don't people sing fun songs?!

Lacey- oh god is she still there!? Oh god those high notes are super painful. Here she goes all over the place- this is super weird! And what the hell is this song!?!? She has to go this week

Katelyn- ok time to jazz this up and make it a bit more Martika-esque. I mean I do love the song and at least you are just singing the song and are having a bit of fun but it should be peppier.

Didi- ok this is a much better person singing Stevie Nicks- Lacey was horrid. This is such a great song. She needs to speed it up though- it is getting a bit too slow and dragging.

Paige- oh jesus not smile. Someone watched Glee but honey you are no Rachel! This whispery non enunciating thing of hers makes me batty! I hope she goes home too. Next.

Crystal- oh Tracy Chapman excellent! What a fantastic song!! Ok she is so much better than everyone. This is fantastic! Look at Katelyn watching her- she is writhing with jealousy. This girl should win- by far the best in the competition.

Lilly- ok she is another one who I can't stand. When she does that wide crazy joker grin while singing I want to smack her. And she always does this weird shit- not for me

Ok so Paige and Lacey have to go home but I'd be ok with Lilly going home too

The Bachelor Wedding

Seriously- I can't believe I'm watching this shit. I strongly dislike this couple- especially Jason. He's a tard- a massive massive douche

God he still has that dumbass look on his face. He looks like and is such a tool

I mean if ABC offered to pay for my wedding I would agree to it also but I can't believe they are popular enough for this

Oh christ here comes the annoying child again- so annoying. Molly you are too good for this shit

Of course everyone hated you Jason- you're an ass!!

Oh god previous couples. Well I guess Canadian Jillian has gone to the states

Jesus Christ Trista is still as annoying as she ever was!!! The girl still does baby talk...and not just to her babies. Plus she has early 90s thin-ass mom bangs- not attractive

Neil Lane must have an exclusive contract with the bachelor- here he is again. Ok her ring is gorgeous- so freakin jealous

Ok the cake is gorgeous. I'm jealous again....they are going to get such an amazing wedding based on absolutely nothing as he has no redeeming qualities

Yes Jason you are doing this in Vegas because you thought it would be fun...it has nothing to do with the production by ABC!! Like this loser could afford this

Why would the bride be the only dancing- that is so boring. They should all be dancing.

The fountain at the Bellagio is the most romantic spot in the world? This girl has to travel more

Oh look at them promoting the Macy's website- that was just oh so natural.

These recaps are super painful to watch. And their loud kissing is disgusting

Ok this might be the worst wedding planner ever- they didn't have an indoor backup plan!?

Oh and it's Ken Paves with gross fake hair- bring on the tacky!

Thank god the mother put her foot down and the kid is no longer on camera- that's a good thing! But why was he in the montage at the beginning?

They all get trips and Manolo Blahniks!?!? Seriously ABC you cancelled Pushing Daisies but are paying for this shit??!!?!?!?

Oh and Jason is crying- shocking. What a loser

Oh god Trista and Ryan are there and she is speaking in a baby voice to Chris Harrison- she is trying to infuriate me. And the bangs are soo horrid!! Soooo bad!

OMG!!! Deanna is dating the twin!! That is sooo funny! I guess Jesse didn't work but she stuck with the Bachelor connections. They are good friends with Jason and Molly!? I'm sure they hang out all the time...

I want a clear umbrella sooo badly!!

Ed and Jillian- I think we have already seen her in this outfit

I'm wondering what is happening with Mary and Byron- they are the ones that intrigue me after the beatdown she gave him! Ok I just googled it and I guess they broke up...

There is Jesse- he was at the winter Olympics?! I love that they have invited all these bachelor people- it's all their most intimate friends.

The seats are very cute but won't be fun in Winter.

Oh look Charlie and Sarah- I'm sure they are super great friends with the happy couble

I HATE BOUTONNIERES!! Seriously- who thinks those look nice?! Are we 15 and going to formal?!

Most anticipated weddings of all time- seriously!?!? Oh yeah it's right up there with Charles and Di...

Oh and Pachelbel's cannon to add to the cheesefest

Oh Jesus now it's the loser from American Idol singing a horrid version of Somewhere over the Rainbow on a ukelele- are they purposely bringing out everyone I hate?!

Oh god the bouquet and dress are way too much. And the makeup is HORRID!! There is like 12000 pounds of it!!

THEY RELEASED DOVES?!?!!? Those poor birds being trapped for these losers

Look how soaked they are! Why aren't people bringing them umbrellas?!!? Seriously- worst wedding planner ever!! Why didn't they cover the gazebo when it started raining!? These people are retarded!!

She is still in the same dress after all that rain!?!? And they didn't fix her hair?!?!? What the hell happened to Ken Paves

The Oscars

Alright here it is- the main event. I am so excited to see Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin host. I am just starting to appreciate the genius of Alec Baldwin (thank god the Baldwins haven't been bombed again) but Steve Martin...he's a legend in my home. I was raised with a fine appreciation for his work. And I would love to one day pick out a thermos for him.

Oh I like this Actress and Actor part. Colin Firth you are such a sexy sexy beast!!! I heart you!!

Look at Gabby posing- she rocks!

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! THIS IS AWESOME!! I'm so glad they got him to sing and dance- I love what he has become!! It's why Warren Beatty stayed in bed- that's AMAZING!!!!

Biggest pair since Dolly Parton- so cute!! OH GOD I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH!!!!! And I love that Jeff Bridges can do that whistling thing.

Oh look it's Melanie Griffith- at least they kept her off the carpet so she wouldn't scare the children

I'm wondering how Robert Downey Jr. scored a front row seat when he isn't nominated

Captain Von Trapp again- love him!!

That Damn Helen Mirren was a cute job

HE JUST REFERENCED BEING BORN A POOR BLACK CHILD!!!! I almost fell off my chair with excitement!

Why does George Clooney look so angry being pointed out!?

Love the Christoph reference to finding jews

Taylor Lautner looks so confused- he is such a tool

Alright Best Supporting Actor- it will probably be Christoph Waltz but it could go to Christopher Plummer- in this category they sometimes go with the sentimental favorite. And it was Christoph Waltz- he seems like such a nice guy

Is Luna Lovegood the voice of the blonde cartoon character? It looks like her

I think Up has this in the bag. Of course- it was the one nominated for Best Picture

Two young actresses who have no idea who they are- awesome. Oh god Amanda Seyfried is way too go for dumbass Cyrus. I do think Amada's dress is very pretty and love the top- it's just very bug. Oh god Miley you are soooo annoying in such an inappropriate dress!!

Of course it was T Bone Burnett for best song- not a surprise.

I don't love Tina Fey's dress but I love her hair and like the hair. The glasses are interesting with the blue lenses. Ok this is a super cute segment. Although is it just me or did he look like Patrick Dempsey with the hair

Ok I think Quentin Tarantino will win best screenplay. Nope the Hurt Locker- I hope thought it was the only award he might win. This might mean it won't get best picture.

MOLLY RINGWALD!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!! Was this show written for me!?!??! Ok loving the John Hughes montage- it represents me. DUCKIE!!!!!!! DUCKIE!!!!!!! Ok I loved that. JESUS CHRIST!!! DUCKIE!!!! Yes I know that he is on two and a half man but really he will always be Duckie. Why do they all have to help Molly Ringwald? Look at Michael C Hall- what the hell happened to his face?!!? Jesus what the hell happened to Judd Nelson!?!? That is why drugs are bad!! Oh Danke Schein- that was cute.

What the hell is Zoe Saldana wearing!?!?!!? That is HORRIBLE!!! HORRIBLE!!

Why the hell is that woman on the stage during the documentary short?!!? This guy looks so confused?!!? And he looks pissed she is talking

At least they aren't doing the acceptance speech in the audience anymore- that was insulting

Ok Ben Stiller that is pretty cute!! I like when he does spoofs. Actually it wasn't as funny when he started talking...he could have done way more with that

Precious won best adapted screenplay- I'm shocked. I thought for sure it would go to Jason Reitman. Where is Oprah?! Ok this writer is horrible at giving speeches- he hasn't thanked anyone from the movie

It was the highlight of her life- it should be Queen Latifah getting to work with Steve Martin

Interesting that they now do the honorary oscars in a special ceremony. It's probably a good idea as they will get more attention

He is doing Best Supporting Actress?!? Who won last year that is supposed to be there!?!? Ok just saw it was Heath Ledger- this makes sense. Ok Monique has this in the bag. Wow she got a standing ovation- this movie may win since they all seem to love it

Did anyone else notice that Tom Ford just took a step away from Sarah Jessica Parker? I love watching him- he is so egotistical I love it!!

I can't believe these twilight losers are here- get the riff raff off the stage. Kristen Stewart looks awkward and is shaking and moving and fidgeting- so awkward. And please like their movie is a horror- it's the lamest vampire concept the world has ever known. I can't believe the academy succombs to the pressure of the dumbasses who think it's a good movie

I adore the dress that the statue girl is wearing- it's beautiful

Wow the hurt locker is kicking ass- I thought all of these technical awards would go to Avatar

Shit with that music I thought it might be Elizabeth Taylor and a real movie star. Instead it's Elizabeth Banks who I've only really enjoyed on television- loved her as the drunk on Modern Family

John Travolta- didn't expect to see him

Ok Steve Martin's introductions are just killing me. He is by far my favorite Oscar host ever- I think that he is great alone but this is good for me too

Why the fuck did Demi Moore just do such a dramatic entrance!? Why did she wait so long to walk- hello no one cares

Oh god the In Memoriam- I always cry. Jesus they added James Taylor- are they trying to kill me?!!? Brittany Murphy still saddens me- she was so tragic. Yuck what the hell is Michael Jackson doing there. Oh Natasha Richardson- so sad. I'm glad they ended with Karl Malden

Jason Bateman I heart you!!

The Cove- I have heard really good things about this movie but I'm not sure if I can emotionally handle it. Oh they cut them off because of the sign- interesting! They wanted no politics! That was horribly awkward.

I adore Quentin Tarantino- he just makes me smile

I don't understand the group of people on the stage right now- it doesn't make much sense to me. Ok they are relaying stories...it's odd though...oh Jeff Bridges looks like he's going to cry- too cute!

Interesting that they still play the titanic theme for Kate Winslet. It has to go to Jeff Bridges. I just saw his father on Seinfeld today- his family is classic!!

I'm interested to see who will come to speak about the best actresses- they should bring out a big gun for Meryl Streep. Oh and here is the mighty Oprah!

Why is Forest Whitaker doing Sandra Bullock? Ok he directed her- that makes sense.

Helen Mirren has a tattoo on her hand?!?!?! WHAT?!?!?!? Oh god that is ruining it for me- a dame shouldn't have a tattoo!!!

I would love for Gabourey Sidibe to win because she is just too cute. First her, then Meryl and then Sandra- I just don't think it's a strong enough movie and performance for Sandra to win. Ok I'm crying

Meryl Streep is the best- there is no doubt. Oh it was Sandra Bullock

I love how George Clooney's girlfriend looks pissed off that she has to stand for Sandra Bullock. I agree- you didn't earn it

Ok Sandra Bullock did have a good speech but it would have been such a good moment if Gabourey Sidibe had won

Oh they brought out Streisand for director...therefore they think it might be Kathryn Bigelow. They want a previous nominee to give it to her- it's like when they brought out Coppola, Lucas and Spielberg for Scorcese. I would like to see it be a woman- I admit it. There are two Canadians in the category- interesting!!

And it was a woman! Good for her!

Oh Tom Hanks will be giving Best Picture. I think it will be the Hurt Locker. And it is.

Oscars Red Carpet

Who are we kidding- this is the best part of the whole night!!

Ryan Reynolds is looking quite dashing! Loving the bow tie!

I love Jason Reitman- I really hope he wins Best Screnplay because it really was a great movie. If it could get Best Picture I think it would be incredibly deserving

Monique looks beautiful- that's a great colour on her- Ben Mulroney is right. And his husband looks quite adoring. The dress is very flattering

Well the E talk editing isn't great- you see the person wrapping it up

Why aren't they focusing on James Cameron waving the Canadian flag- I mean the boy was born in Northern Ontario!!

What the hell is Nicole Richie doing there!?!? Get rid of the riff raff!!

Where is Lainey- I thought she was doing the red carpet

I love Anna Kendrick's hair but the dress drowns her out. LOVE the ring- I really need big rings!!

Why the hell are they even going to Tanya Kim?!!? She is doing nothing

What the hell is up with Zac Efron's hair?!!? Why is he there?!?

I love Sigourney Weaver and she is very glamorous and regal but I hate the black belt.

Oh I ADORE Vera Farmiga's dress- it's fantastic!! Is it Vera Wang?

I can't believe how old Zoe Kravitz is- I remember the scandal when Lisa Bonet got pregnant!

Oh and Mimi has arrived! Look at her trying to show her leg and shoe. God she always wears necklines that make her look like a refridgerator!

Tina Fey!! Now that's more like it!! Thanks for the Olympic praise!

I am not a fan of Sandra Bullock's dress from what I can see- I don't love the fabric. It's very Hillary Swank

I totally would have never realized that was Tim McGraw if Faith Hill wasn't beside him

Carey Mulligan- I love her hair but she is letting the dress wear her- she needs more confidence and to stand tall. I love the earrings

I still don't get the Jake Gyllenhaal thing- maybe it's the eyebrows that throw me off

Oh and here is Mimi with her umbrella carrier...really his role is just to escort her.

Miley Cyrus- oh god what the hell is she doing there again!! She looks stoned!! I hate the bustier!!!

Why is Amanda Seyfried wearing such a HUGE dress when she isn't nominated? I do like her hair and makeup

Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a 74 year old 12 time divorcee! I can't believe how grey Ferris Bueller is. Her dress is horrid

Kathryn Bigelow is so statuesque.

What the hell is on Charlize's breasts?!?! That is horrid!!

Matt Damon seems like such a nice guy- I love him

Gabby Sidibe- good for her for just being herself

What is Jennifer Lopez doing there posing so hard- is she still relevant!?

I appreciate that George's girlfriend is covering her tattoo with the wrap- there is nothing nastier that an arm tattoo in a gown

And there is Meryl- I adore her. And it will renew my faith in the system if she wins over Sandra Bullock's Erin Brockovich performance

Look it's Robert Duvall- all the rumours that he is on his death bed look at him coming otu

Jeff Bridges just seems like a really cool guy.

Kristen Stewart is there too? The idiots must be screaming for her

Vera Farmiga is wearing Marchesa- it's gorgeous.

I would love to see Woody Harrelson win- his speech would be amazing

I have to say I prefer Ben Mulroney to Ryan Seacrest- he is much more polite

Look at Robert Downey Jr.'s bowtie! That's fantastic!!

Alright Robin Thicke time to talk about Kirkland Lake on the red carpet!!!!! Dammit he needs to mention his KL connection!

Alright I think most of the big stars are gone and it's now the bottom of the barrel with the girl from the Princess and the Pea

Is Lainey wearing a fleece?!!? At the Oscars?!!?

JLo trying to make herself relevant with a huge ass dress when she has nothing to do with anything tonight

And they took away Lainey's dress...what is she doing there?!


Now over to the ABC Coverage:

I like the colour of Penelope Cruz' dress and I love the colour

I like the shape of Maggie Gyllenhaal's dress but hat the fabric- it isn't formal enough

Kathy Ireland looks so awkward in her dress. She is standing at such an odd angle! And the dress is not flattering.

I love that Sherri Shephard congratulates George Clooney by reading the teleprompter- it looks so natural and is such an awkward interviewer

Seeing Sandra Bullock's dress up close does make it look a bit nicer

Where is Oprah- shouldn't she be there?

Helen Mirren and Christopher Plummer- now this is what it is all about. Oh Captain Von Trapp how I adore thee!

Ok ABCs coverage is just horribly embarrasing

I really like Cameron Diaz' dress- love the colour and shine and cut

Kate Winslet looks so pretty and elegant

Ok I'm offended by the idea that Taylor Lautner might be the most famous werewolf...what the hell is that about?! Hello Teen Wolf one Mr. Michael J Fox can kick his ass!!

Video of the Day

I used to watch this show- I completely forgot about this show! Best part- the random addition of Mr. Belding

American Idol- Results

Ok for guys I'd like to see Todrick, Jermaine or John go home. And for girls Lacey, Paige or Michelle

Alright John has gone home- I'm ok with that.

Ok down to Jermaine and Andrew. God I hope it is Jermaine and not Andrew although I feel they are doing this as a shock and it will be him. Oh thank god Jermaine is going home! Two of my picks are gone!!

Well Paige is safe- she could have gone home for me.

Of Didi and Michelle I definitely want to see Michelle go home. Yay Didi is safe! God so far I'm great at predicting this

Haeley and Lacey. I definitely want to see Lacey go home. I still feel Haeley has something but she just needs to pick better songs- she needs to go the Taylor Swift cutesy route. Oh and it is Haeley- I would have liked to see her keep going because she is just so cute.

Survivor

Oh god here goes Coach going on and on about how noble he is- the guy is such a raging idiot. Oh and now he's crying. No one says anything good about you because you are such a retard

Tyson actually just gave coach super good advice- I doubt he'll heed it but it was good.

I like that Rob pulled Coach in and tried to talk to him. It's a good way to build an alliance. Oh god now he's King Arthur...uh huh...

Look at Sears getting some advertising

As much as I like Cirie she really really sucks in the challenges

Courtney looks incredibly ill....I can't believe they let someone that anorexic on this show

Danielle has Tori Spelling gross boobs- the skin is pulling and it's disgusting.

Let's go Colby don't let that loser Tyson beat you.

Russell is a hobbit on crack- haha!! Oh Boston Rob I've missed you!! I do think Russell goes early because he cried at his season finale- I think it's because he did poorly on this season

The heroes are morons- you can't get rid of the strong players at this point. I love Cirie but she's a horrible competititor.

I would love to see JT get rid of Cirie- it would be a big move that will make a difference. But I'm sure he won't want to piss people off. But really they would be better off getting rid of her

Good for you Jeff for making them all look like morons for voting the way they are

Yay JT- it was by far the best move. Love Cirie but she is useless in challenges yet fierce in the game

American Idol

And time for the ladies- I really hope they sing some more intriguing songs

Crystal- she is definitely the one I'm rooting for. I don't love the song but she is singing it well. Does she have a unibrow?! I think she needs to go to the waxer!

Simon's trailer is two stories high- that's amazing!

Haeley- oh Haeley you are so young and cute I hope she does a country song. Ok this mean face part is annoying me. But I hope she does well. This beginning is a bit rough. And she singing way too close to the mike. This chorus is a bit much for her- I'm not sure who picked this key for her. I don't like the upward camera angle up her skirt- she is like 16! I think that song was a bit big for her- which is actually insulting since it was Miley Cyrus. Oh that was rough. Poor girl.

Lacey- oh I'm not looking forward to this. She butchered the song last week. It's almost not fair that she had her song selected by the judges. Ok this is much better than last week. She still does weird affectations with her voice that I'm not a fan of but it's not horrid.

Katie- ok this segment about her is so lame. She is so Rachel from Glee. I hate this type of music so much- it just puts me to sleep. Soooo boring and too standardy for me. I don't consider this young at all.

Didi- she is another one that I like. And other than the rug last week I really like her clothes. Ryan Seacrest is totally trying to pick her up. I started training when I was 10 and have NEVER heard that you should meow. Ok I hate the weird version of this song- the key is weird. She is really trying super hard and feels she needs to belt and open her mouth like Jessica Simpson. This is a super weird song choice.

Michelle- this girl bored me to tears last week. The breathy thing that she has going on right now is pretty annoying to me. I think she is somewhat flat at times then when she goes for the high notes she is sharp. Not a fan. She always just looks so serious. And her outfit is super weird. The fingers only gloves and bubble skirt...odd

Lilly- I still find her voice and all the facial expressions to be a bit much. Ok she's not horrid but no my thing. And I'm not sure if she will appeal to the general american idol voters

Katelyn- some Coldplay...interesting...she really can sing but I'm not sure if I love her version. I think she should have just sung the song as is. She is making it jazzy which I hate. Ok this is putting me to sleep

Paige- she is the one that I wanted to go home last week. She is another one who sings in a really breathy voice and I'm not a fan of the style. And she is horrible at enunciating- what the hell is she saying?!

Siobhan- this girl is way too weird for me. Ok her voice sounds a lot better in this song but the lyrics are going a bit to fast for her. She is more of a hold the notes kind of singer. Oh that note at the end was too much for me- too much screaming

American Idol

Mike- while I like his personality I think he needs to sing a more memorable song. Ok I don't love the song choice as I hate this type of song but he is singing it well. But more important he is performing it well. This guy looks comfortable on the stage which is nice to see.

I really like Kara's dress

John- I hate the flat hair..I just don't understand the fad at all. Could be that I'm old but it still doesn't make it attractive. And he picks another slow song...boring. Is he trying to put me to sleep?!!? He has turned this into a song by Michael Bolton. I'm sleepy. Next.

Casey- oh you are by far my favorite. Oh I LOVE this song!! And that Eliot Yamin was SOOO HORRIBLE!! I can't wait to hear this! I actually think this song is a bit too big for him. I think he should stick with the more accoustic stuff and stay away from the heavier rock. Dude where is November Rain- that is what you should be singing!!! He is almost too gentle for this. I still love him though

I feel Kara thought he had to be harsh to look like she's impartial

Alex- I can't believe this kid still has a mullet. Oh god I hate Jon Legend. I don't think he should bother with a guitar- he is so nervous he doesn't need two things to focus on. He does have a good voice but it doesn't really do anything for me. Why are they all choosing such boring songs?!!?

Todrick- I still don't really like him. We'll see what he does this week. Oh hun Paula Abdul NEVER sings and dances at the same time!! Another slow boring song. Yuck. He isn't going to belt the chorus?! Next. I agree Randy- please just sing!!

Jermaine- do I seriously still have to listen to this?!? This whole show is making me sooo sleepy. This music is HORRID!!! Next.

Andrew- ok he is another one that I normally love but this song is horrid!! And he is super super flat!! And he can't keep up with the music. This is really bad.

Aaron- I do like this kid but again not my favorite song choice. He is better than last week- he looks more relaxed

Tim- I hope that he does better because I really like him- other than the flat bangs of course. I think he was better but there were still some sketchy moments.

Lee- well he is singing this well but goes with the theme of songs that put me to sleep. But he sounds great- one of the better performances of the night.

The Bachelor

Alright time for the finale! At this point I think all of the spoilers are true and he will pick Vienna- which will be so disappointing.

I also heard today that Alli will be the next bachelorette and it will be revealed during the After the Rose show- yuck! What a poor choice! She is manly with beady eyes and is a huge whiner.

As much as Tenley annoys me she is the one who matches Jake the most. Vienna is the girl who works at Vienna- end of story. There is something natural about Vienna- haha!!

OMG is he crying again??!!?! AGAIN!?!? Just from seeing his family- god he's lame!

No clue who I'm going to propose to- well maybe that's a sign you should propose to anyone!!

Tenley really does speak like a Disney princess from 1945....that could be why her voice bothers me so much.

My god the dad cries too- this is just too much...

Why does Tenley have to tell her about her marriage to show her about conflict- that makes no sense! Oh and they are all crying again...

Ok the jumping in the pool was awkward

Vienna is so young- she can't not answer the family. And the poor girl is just so homely...

Vienna really has no social skills whatsoever- she is making no effort to get to know the family. She keeps staring down and isn't engaging anyone. She is so awkward

I just realized that Vienna looks like Hailey Duff- the witchypoo look a like

I am always suspisiouc about weirdos with no social skills who claim they have a heart of gold. I have a relative like that and she is just selfish and wacked- end of story

I can't believe the family came around and cried- they are soooo odd

Jake seems to be pulling away from Tenley on the boat- I'm guessing that's a sign! I love that he is describing a physical connection being different than sexual chemistry...when the definition is the same!

When Jake talks about Tenley he just looks pained

Wow they flew Neil Lane all the way to St. Lucia- nice advertising. You are buying a ring when you don't know who it is for?!!? That is retarded!!! You definitely should not be getting engaged

Are Jake and I looking at the same person!>? Vienna is naturally sexy?!!? With the silicone?

Jake is a horrible actor- as soon as he sees Tenley he looks upset. And now he is crying and it's just bad.

Ok this breakup with him and Tenley is sooo painful to watch!! They are both lame and cry and try to reason

I don't understand what he just gave Vienna- it's doesn't make sense. Is it a ring her father gave her?

I'm going to puke- I mean I read the spoilers about Vienna but this is just unbelievable

Jake does look hot all in black. But I'm sure he'll be awkward soon to make him unattractive to me again

Yay Tenley I appreciate what you just said- I would have a heart attack if the guy was passionate about another girl

Vienna is my baby- ew. This guy is ridiculous. I've never had this much heat?! Was this guy a virgin?

Ok I love her ring- I'll give her that.

I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with her face. I think her teeth are too big. She seems to have veneers- i think they need to be filed down.

Oh here we go again saying I'm a sweet person- yuck

I don't think it's hard for Vienna to move as I don't think she has a career!! They have a hooters in Texas so she can transfer

I thought they were going to say Elton John! Oh and they are dancing. What a HORRIBLY awkward arm dance- they are dancing like 75 year olds. Oh and then they think it is appropriate to make out in front of a crowd...lovely...Seriously I thought Elton sang this- i have no idea who this guy is

Yup it's Alli- no shock there. I guess her job is ok with her leaving again!

Do people care enough about Molly and Jason to watch this?!!? I guess they wouldn't be able to afford this without ABC footing the bill since he is a cell phone salesman who lives with his brother!

Interesting British Study

I completely agree with the results of this study.

Time to Start a Campaign...

To bring THIS to Toronto!!!